Blood Awakening
by AsheMoon
Summary: Dimitri's nature is now altered, from being good and kind to something unnatural and evil. When his path collides with Rose, nothing is going to stop him from making Rose join him forever. Blood Promise. DPOV. Canon.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is a belated birthday gift (six months late hah) for Katerina, my bondmate. If not for her, I wouldn't have probably finished it. If Blood Promise was painful to read, well, writing it is another story. Let's just say I read fluff and fairytales after writing each chapter. LOL.**

**Gasp. I know, someone finally did it. A Strigoi Dimitri POV of Blood Promise. The horror. No, really it is (horrible), but that's why I wanted to write it.**

**(Twisted, I know, thank you.)**

**Much gratitude to my lovely, strong-headed, clear-minded beta, ohayou/Zmeyette, for keeping me in line with the T rating. Or so we hoped.**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**Prologue**

The sun was too low for my liking that day.

If only we were given the time to strike at mid-day, I wouldn't be this worried. As it was, there was no time to lose if we wanted to save as many students and teachers taken captive by the Strigoi. We feared that they were already being used as food, or worse, turned—then we have no choice but to destroy them all.

Our group was hushed; tense, as we crept closer and closer to the caves where we knew they lay. The sun trapped the Strigoi for now, but as I glanced towards the darkening sky, I knew we do not have the luxury of time for this attack. I questioned for a moment if this was folly.

No, I shook my head. I had no time to second-guess our actions. I conceded with the rest of the Guardians that saving the rest was the best way. We were many and the Strigoi were outnumbered from the loss they sustained earlier inside the school. I cannot hesitate about the decisions made, especially when our group is composed of my closest colleagues, the Moroi teachers I've come to respect, and some students whom I have taught myself since coming to St. Vladimir's.

Rose.

As if she heard her name in my head, she glanced up at me. Even with the dirt and grime in her face and clothes, she looked beautiful. A warrior I've come to respect, and if my confidence with her were any less, she would not be here in this hunting party. I wanted her safe inside the walls of the school, if it was only up to me.

Then again, I knew now that Rose will have my head if I prevented her in any way from doing her responsibility as a guardian, even as a novice. And I wanted to have faith in her, faith in my capability as her mentor. I taught her almost everything I knew… I have no doubt she will surpass me in the near future.

For a brief moment, I saw apprehension in her eyes. How can I conveniently forget that she was still a child in a way? If only I could alleviate her fears… but no. This has to come first. I have to trust her enough that she can handle herself.

Alberta directed the group to split up. Janine and I were heading the first hunting party, while Alberta and Stan will follow soon after. The others—Rose and her other classmates, together with some guardians—will stay behind as back up in case some Strigoi escape past us. I hoped that would not come to pass.

I immediately felt the temperature drop as we stepped inside the cave. I didn't—couldn't—look back to where Rose was standing. She was safer than me, so my job was to return to her in one piece, along with the other captives. I have a future with her to take care of—so I was going to come back to her, no matter what.

We weren't deep inside the cave when the fighting started. Judging from their actions, they knew we were coming, but were unprepared by our number. We pressed that advantage. Screams and grunts erupted left and right. A burst of fire from one of the Moroi teachers distracted many of the Strigoi, so it made the fighting easier. No, not easier, but more even.

I gripped Abby Badica's arms as she was trembling uncontrollably from a corner, trying to flinch away from the fighting. As far as I can tell, she had no bites, but was terrified out of her mind.

I shook her a little. "Can you hear me?"

Her eyes re-focused on me with great effort. "Y-yes."

"You must run." I said in a clear, commanding voice. "Back to the entrance of the cave. Just run straight… don't look back. Rose—" her name caught in my throat. "Rose and the others are waiting out there. Do you understand?"

She nodded shakily, and turned to run together with Mr. Ellsworth. That was two.

I glanced back at our group…. Most of the Strigoi in this area were neutralized. I turned to see Janine's eyes on me. She heard me say Rose's name—will she make something out of it? For a second I thought she was going to say something, but someone yelled—more Strigoi were coming.

I gripped my stake as we met our opponents—they were uncannily fast and their strength was more than I was used to facing. No doubt because of the round of feeding they just had. My anger fueled me as I fought relentlessly. More captives started emerging, and we directed them towards the mouth of the cave. Eddie Castile was adamant to stay and fight, but he was in no condition to do so and would only become a liability. Alberta all but kicked him out of our way.

My mind could not fathom how many of the Strigoi we were fighting. How can they be so organized when they were just savage, mindless creatures with a thirst for blood and destruction?

I dodged a Strigoi as he tried to grab me from behind. I grappled him down and plunged the stake right through his chest. I glanced at his face briefly—he didn't look older than me.

A piercing shriek caught my attention. I swiveled my head just in time to see one of our female guardians go down—I couldn't see who it was. I rushed to help, but something more caught my eye: one of the Strigoi was doing something to the wall behind us. On his feet was another dead guardian. My eyes traveled to the wall—and realized what he was trying to do. Shit.

I ran to him, but a Strigoi stopped me on my way. I evaded swipes from him as I yelled to the guardian closest to the Strigoi.

"Stan! Stop him! He's trying to collapse the—"

But it was too late: A strong explosion shook the wall—Stan and several others dived out of the way just in time as the rocks fell and covered our only exit. Alberta delivered a fatal blow to the Strigoi's chest.

"Son of a bitch," she said angrily. This changes a lot of things.

"Tell Emil we need reinforcements," Alberta said to Stan. "Our escape route is severely compromised."

My insides clenched—Rose will be sent inside, there was no way she was not, since she was one of the strongest novices we had here.

The fighting resumed. I looked at Janine. For a moment I saw worry in her face—undoubtedly she thought of the same. But as quickly as it came, she masked it out. There was no time to be distracted.

In a split second, more Strigoi suddenly jumped on us. There were more, and they were coming out as night approached. The tables are slowly turning against us, the rest of us now trapped between a crumbled wall and a pack of Strigoi. All of us were breathing heavily now as we fought back.

"Someone's fighting on the other side!" Celeste yelled while fending off her Strigoi opponent.

Reinforcements to clear the other side—Rose was just there. I saw a measure of fear among the other Strigoi circling us. They felt fear? Impossible.

I saw Stephen crawl out of the small opening, followed by Rose. Together, they tackled the Strigoi closest to them. My eyes didn't want to leave their fight, but I had my own battle to win.

Slowly we were winning. Stephen and Rose's arrival helped our odds, so now we were the ones trapping the remaining Strigoi. Alberta yelled for the others to start leaving. I saw an easy opening to break through the defense of one, and I lunged for him.

"What about you? We have to get out!" Stephen shouted at us.

"We'll be right behind you!" Alberta yelled back as she dodged her attacker. She was fighting one of the old ones.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Stephen beckon to Rose. My relief was greatly increased when she obeyed without question. We finished the remaining two and crawled back out. As soon as I emerged from the opening, Rose's body visibly sagged with relief.

It was quiet, but I knew it was far from over. Janine and several other guardians were in the other channels of the cave, separated from us by the caving of the wall. We ran further in the tunnel, and true enough, we encountered Janine's party fighting the remaining Strigoi. With our combined forces, they didn't stand a chance.

Our victory was brief, however. Janine informed us that there were still more others waiting in the recesses of the cave, and could just jump on us anytime. Light was fading fast as well. Alberta did not hesitate—we have to get out immediately.

All of us obeyed her, and we started to move forward. I went beside Rose, just to make sure she was really alright. She looked battle-worn, but otherwise fine.

"Did Eddie get out?" she asked.

"Yes, we had to practically force him out. He wanted to fight," I shook my head. If Rose was in his position, she would have wanted the same. She will make a hell of a guardian once she graduates, I was sure.

It was the narrower part of the tunnel—a good place to ambush us. Janine barely finished speaking about the nearing exit when a pack of Strigoi attacked.

My worst fears were realized—not all of us can move effectively in this cramped space. I saw Alan fall—but I could not dwell on that as I rammed my elbow through a Strigoi's face and staked him simultaneously.

"Start retreating!" Alberta barely had time to order before one of the Strigoi grabbed her back.

I moved forward and gripped the Strigoi's neck—with a snap I broke it. Alberta flipped her stake and plunged it through the chest. I looked up and saw Rose and the other guardians were gone. Good. We all scanned our surroundings—it was quiet. Satisfied, we followed the earlier party to the mouth of the cave, breaking into a fast run. We had no delusions they were the last of them.

Purple twilight greeted us as we rounded on the last corner. The exit was just a few feet away—in this distance I can see the relieved faces of our colleagues anxiously waiting for our escape. Rose was a couple of meters ahead of me—my eyes followed her as she safely exited the mouth of the cave. Finally, she was safe. She was—

Loud snarls and roars followed by sprays of blood assaulted my senses. I was momentarily stunned—where did they come from?

Then it hit me: they were waiting… Janine was right. Our realizations were too late.

Someone grabbed my back with a strength I was unprepared for. I fell to the ground, his body pinning me. I tried to free my hands, but it was no use.

His red eyes glittered maliciously, as if he was waiting for this moment. His blonde hair… for a strange moment, Ivan crossed my mind.

His mouth opened wide, revealing his fangs. Our eyes met. There was no time to feel even fear.

I knew it was over when I felt the sting of his bite. I struggled because I was taught to fight to the end. That was what Rose would have wanted, what my family would have thought of me…

But it was no use.

The venom will be in my system in a few seconds. Then I will remember nothing. Nothing of what I am or what I was supposed to be.

Rose's screams for me were the last coherent sound in my head. Ah, she saw me fall. I wish she had been spared from this. She didn't deserve this pain I was causing her…

All I begged for, was if I was turned instead of killed, that I never see Rose ever again. Because if not….

Everything ceased to matter as I succumbed to the feeling of peace that I knew was a lie.

Peace will only come to those who are dead, never to those who have been awakened.

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**A/N: **

**It's all been written out, five months ago, so expect regular updates. ********We start with chapter 17, when Rose meets Dimitri in Novosibirsk. This is also the stand-alone fic found in my profile. It ends… well you know where it ends. T_T**

**************If you're staying with the story… thank you for giving me a chance, and let me know what you think. :)**

**Anya**

**P.S. Have you read Spirit Bound? THAT quote from Dimitri. Sigh. And THAT ending. I know, I know. Double sigh. Richelle Mead must have patented the heartbreak or something.**


	2. One

**A/N: Thank you so much for the story hits and alerts... and reviews! You might have already read this before from my earlier one shots. Well, I planned it to write only this part, then it kinda got out of hand.**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**ONE**

_One of the dhampirs is looking for you. She said her name was Rose Hathaway._

Those words kept replaying in my head as I saw her from afar. Rose was truly here. When I thought I had left her safe from me inside the gates of St. Vladimir's, here she was, a few strides away from me, deep in conversation with a deranged woman. Rose certainly knew how to choose her company, just like joining the rogue dhampirs picking off Strigoi at night.

Reckless, brash and impulsive. That was how I knew her as my student. But I did not forget how skilled she had become, bringing down many Strigoi before she had officially turned eighteen.

Eighteen.

By that age, she should have graduated from school and from being my student. By that age, we would have been free to pursue our illicit relationship.

By that time… she should have been mine. But fate had other plans.

I was different now. One of the Undead, the mortal enemy of Moroi and dhampir alike. Rose will see me as a monster that she should hate, or fear… and destroy. Yes, that would be very her, or else why would she come to Russia? She came for me, but not to join me, surely not.

It was to free me. To destroy me.

Reckless Rose. Even now, as I watched her, she was totally unaware that the environment she was in was too open, hard to defend. And she was too distracted with the old woman singing and dancing wildly in front of her to notice that I was nearing her. This was almost too easy.

"Sorry I have to go…" Rose said, her tone a little wry and impatient. I suppressed a smile. I have almost forgotten how short her patience was.

So was mine. I have to have her now. No dhampir or Strigoi can stop me from this—I have waited too long, deprived myself of the one thing I truly wanted.

_Roza._

Just as I was about to leap on them, the old woman sensed me. She froze on her words, making Rose confused. But not for long.

She spun around with an agility that I did not expect from her, and the moonlight glinted upon her silver stake. Her reflexes had grown considerably since the last time I saw her. I couldn't help it now—a smile broke on my lips. To see her again when I thought I would spend eternity without her face.

Such fierce eyes. Her eyes never feared anyone, and there was a powerful decisiveness in her actions: she really did mean business. I was too careless in my approach, to eager to see her, that I knew I was in danger from her. Rose is a powerful dhampir already, and I shouldn't have underestimated her.

Look at her face. Look at her eyes for the last time before she destroys you. Perhaps it was true, death was freedom after all, for a monster like she saw me now.

Her stake was about to go straight to my heart. No escape. Our gazes met for a second, and it was at that moment I knew she was not strong enough to kill me. Whatever she saw in my face was enough to make her hesitate.

It was enough time for me as well.

"Rose…" I heard her small gasp when I uttered her name. "You forgot my first lesson: don't hesitate."

Before she could reply or escape from me, I delivered a hard blow on the side of her head, enough to knock her senseless. Her eyes widened with shock… and then fell limp on my arms. The stake rolled uselessly on the ground from her hands. I would make sure she did not touch a stake again.

I cradled her on my arms. I know I should move now, escape from this scene, or at the very least, destroy her as she tried to destroy me. That was the natural order of things now. And for the last months from being awakened, I knew it was the truth. Eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed.

But as I saw her face, I knew none of this could happen. I cannot kill her, but I cannot let her go. Not now.

Her long, dark hair had fallen to her face, obscuring her features. I gingerly brushed them away, deliberately trailing my fingers on her lower lip. It seemed an eternity ago when we had kissed. How can she be so powerful and ruthless, but also vulnerable and innocent at the same time? Such power she held over me, even in this afterlife. I was consumed with a need I did not know before—no, tried to deny before.

We would be together, Rose and I. She will be made to understand that joining me is the only option she has. There will be no other way for her, or for me.

No one can save us both now.

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**A/N: The next one will be start of Chapter 18, although not all chapters are mirror chapters. Some are backstories and we see more Strigoi activities (since Rose was imprisoned in that room, we really didn't get to see much of what happens outside). It also means that there are future instances of violence in the chapters... yes, done by Dimitri. Hope you'll all understand it's all needed in the story. ;)**

**- Anya**


	3. Two

**A/N: Surprise. Two new chapters. Well, I thought that the last one wasn't really new… so here I am with the next one. And this chapter kind of sets the mood of the next installments :)**

**Thank you as always, to Zmeyette/ohayou, for being patient with me throughout this entire craziness I brought forth myself. Haha.**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**TWO**

The incessant sounds of thudding from the room I asked from Galina, plainly told me that Rose was already awake. Of course, there was no way she could escape from that room, which is exactly why I chose it. With Rose's cunning and fast learning, she could make anything into a weapon, or find the tiniest mishap from my part and turn it to her advantage. She was smart, but so was I.

I instructed Inna to bring the food and clothes I asked for earlier—no doubt she was hungry and might want a change of clothes. I opened the steel-enforced outer doors, but paused before proceeding to the next ones.

Brief hesitation clouded my mind. What would she say to me after I have abducted her? Would she only see me as a monster incapable of feelings like when I was still one of them? Will her eyes scream of revulsion and fear for me?

But then again, it did not matter. She was here, and she had nowhere to go.

Rose must join me, there is no alternative left for her.

As soon as I opened the door, I should have known she was waiting to act. How she knew that it was a Strigoi coming from the door I had no idea, but then again Rose wasn't known for thinking before acting.

She hurtled towards me with the wooden chair with surprising force and speed—given her weakened state—but it was a nowhere match for me. I pushed her back, taking care not to hurt her too much. But she was determined; even if we both knew her efforts were futile. She rushed towards me again, and this time I met her midway, pulling the ridiculous weapon off her hands and breaking the chair into splinters.

But she was not easily deterred. I could it see in her eyes the ferociousness of her desire to inflict damage upon me. It reminded me too well of our practices in the Academy, where I had taught her all these moves she was using against me.

She could not hope to win in a fight with me, especially now as a Strigoi. But I could not let her be hurt because of her naiveté either.

I dodged one of her kicks—her legs were graceful as ever—"Rose. You're wasting time. Stop."

It was as if she did not hear me at all. She wheeled frantically around, and seized the DVD player from the shelf. Trust Rose to find the most creative ways to fight her opponent.

With a loud yell she proceeded to smash it to me, but of course I was too fast. I broke the thing into pieces and before she knew what I was doing, I got a good grip of her arms. Not to hurt her, but enough to make her realize I could very well could.

She was undoubtedly scared of me—she shouldn't be. At least, not yet. I tried to sound reasonable… familiar.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Roza," Her name fell from my lips like a feather. "Please stop."

If anything, it only increased her struggles against me. With a loud sigh I flipped her and pushed her body against the wall, so that her legs and arms would remain immobile. I did it for her own protection rather than mine… can't she understand this?

Having her this near to me was intoxicating and overwhelming at the same time. I could hear her heart pounding frenetically from her chest, her blood rushing in her neck.

Her neck. So close to my mouth. Restraint, Dimitri. You will taste her blood soon enough.

"Stop fighting me." My voice sounded husky even to myself. I tried again. "I'm not going to hurt you."

She didn't hear the truth in my words. Rose gave another shove against me, but my hold on her was unshakeable. "You'll have to understand if I have a hard time believing that." She muttered.

Her scent. There was nothing else I wanted but to bury my face in her hair and breathe in her very essence. Focus.

Perhaps if I put it more bluntly she would finally believe me.

"If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead." Yes, no doubt. But I wanted so much more. "Now, if you're going to keep fighting, I'll tie you up. If you stop, I'll let you go unrestrained."

I was aware that if I had my way, this conversation would not even be happening right now—I would have bitten he right then and there on the street. But Rose deserved patience. She deserved a choice… or the illusion of it.

There was a small pause before she spoke again. "Aren't you afraid I'll escape?"

So innocent, my Rose was. She was fast becoming an adult, but she was still a child in many ways. Some things apparently cannot change.

"No." there was an unmistakable finality in my voice she could not miss. "I am not."

She grew still and very quiet after hearing my answer. I know that Rose's mind was trying to evaluate her chances here. Which was none—I will lose no time in making her comprehend that.

"Okay." She finally answered.

I should let her go, but all my instincts told me not to. She was completely under my control, even more compared when I was still her teacher, or as a lover.

Take what was yours.

No. Patience.

My hands finally released her, and she turned around from the wall to face me. I did not move an inch, so our faces were closer than ever before. Her eyes bored to me, but I did not want to look away.

I perfectly knew what she was observing about me—my Strigoi features. The red eyes, the pale skin… characteristics that were meant to make her hostile against my kind. Yet I did not see her cringe in anyway, because I also knew very well how strong Rose was.

After all that I have been through, after all she that has happened… I was never more entranced with Rose than I was right now. Perhaps it was the heightened senses of being a Strigoi that allows me now to see her clearly than ever before… the way her hair fell down to her shoulders and neck, her soft lips that were set in a thin line, her eyes that saw right through me ever since that first day in the Academy—and made that mistake of seeing her as more than a student.

But even now, I could not bring myself to look at it as a mistake. Perhaps one can argue I have given up my soul, my conscience, my morals, my emotions… but Rose was the one thing I will never give up.

And I also know what this would cost her.

"Why did you come here?" I had to hear it for myself.

Her eyes narrowed. "Because you hit me in the head and dragged me in here."

Once, that was amusing. But this was not funny in any way if she truly understood her predicament right now. What she has now put me in—the one thing I have vowed myself that I will not take forcibly.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." I was unable to hide the darkness of my tone. I saw her draw slightly back. "Why are you here?"

"In Siberia? I came here to find you."

Typical Rose logic. Go outside in cold weather without a coat to have a midnight walk. Kiss your instructor just to make him lose control. Hunt your lover down to Siberia without any back-up.

"I came here to get away from you," I finally said.

Her eyes widened, shocked. "Why? Because I might kill you?"

Now she had succeeded in amusing me. "No. So we wouldn't be in this situation. Now we are, and the choice is inevitable."

She did not immediately understand what I meant. She frowned at me. "Well… you can let me go if you want to avoid it."

I turned to sit on one of the couches in the living area of the room. I deliberately turned my back on her to show her that I was not at least threatened by her inclinations to attack me. Rose seemed to realize this immediately as she did not make any more sudden moves. Instead, she remained against the wall, her stance clearly still defensive… and afraid. I crossed my legs after I sat down, to show her some of my old habits were still there.

Let her go she said. Impossible.

I spoke slowly. "Not possible anymore. After seeing you now…" my voice trailed away. I cannot continue. My control was rapidly reaching its limits.

In this distance, I can appreciate all of Rose now. My eyes trailed to her face, her hair, her body… all of it was still seared in my memory. Rose was someone difficult to forget, and even more impossible to set free.

She is mine now.

"You're still as beautiful as I remember, Roza." I kept her eyes firmly locked on mine. "Not that I was expecting anything different."

I watched her face for any change of expression—any kind of yielding to me, and I shall use it. But all I saw was a bit of confusion… she was trying to control whatever reaction I have inspired in her. That was alright. I would hammer her down.

"You can sit down." I said, noting that she had been standing the entire time I was in her room.

Defiance in her answer. "No, I'm fine over here."

"Is there anything else you want?"

"For you to let me go?" The hardening in her eyes betrayed her seemingly light quip.

"No Roza. I meant, do you need anything else? Different food? Books? Entertainment?"

The disbelief in her tone almost made me laugh. "You make it sound like a first-class hotel!"

"It is, to a certain extent," I allowed. "I can speak to Galina, and she'll get you anything you wish."

"Galina?" she asked.

It was hard not show pleasure about my reunion with her. If it were not for Galina, I would have been a monster without a purpose. An end goal. Galina showed me how being a Strigoi of power had its many advantages.

"Galina is my old instructor, back from when I was in school," I replied.

"She's Strigoi?

I nodded. "Yes. She was awakened several years ago, in a fight in Prague." She had been recklessly offering her life to a Moroi, defending their estate heedlessly. By being awakened, Galina had finally freed herself from the shackles of being a dhampir.

"She's relatively young for a Strigoi, but she's risen in power. All of this," I gestured to the window and to the scenery outside, "...is hers."

"And you live with her?" she asked.

I could not help noticing the inflection in her tone. Was Rose…. Jealous? No not likely… but if she was, then it would be easier on my part to do what is needed to be done.

I folded my hands above my knee, as if this was just a conversation about the Russian weather. "I work for her. She was another reason I returned here when I was awakened. I knew she was Strigoi… and I wanted her guidance."

And more than that, I was interested to see how the wheels work. How to amass power, influence—

Her next question distracted me. "And you wanted to get away from me… that was the other reason, right?"

I kept my eyes on her as I nodded, but I said nothing more. I had already said enough.

Rose's eyes darted from me to the dark window and back again. "Where are we? We're far from Novosibirsk, right?"

I knew where she was getting at, but I answered her, playing her little mind tricks.

"Yes. Galina's estate is outside the city," I said.

"How far?" she asked just as casually.

Very smooth, Rose. "I know what you're doing, and I'm not going to give you that sort of information."

Sparks finally flew from her. She yelled. "Then what are you doing? Why are you holding me here? _Kill me or let me go_. And if you're going to just lock me up and torture me with mind games or whatever, then I really would rather you _kill me_."

Kill her or let her go… which one would be easier to bear? Can I possibly do any of those two choices with her?

No, I couldn't. That was the truth. Rose could not understand, because she didn't know what I was planning for her.

I stood up. "Brave words. I almost believe you."

Her eyes followed my pacing around the room. "They're true. I came here to kill you." So brave, not even a crack in her voice. The more I wanted to possess her. "If I can't do that, then I'd rather die."

I looked outside the window, staring at the black sky that wasn't dark to me. "You failed, you know. On the street." I mused.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out then I woke up here," She retorted sarcastically.

I approached her with a speed I knew her eyes would not be able to keep up. She looked very startled when she realized I was standing very close to her again. Rose did not move from the wall earlier, and as a result she was trapped between the wall and my body.

"I'm a little disappointed. You're so good, Rose. So very, very good." I deliberately lowered my voice, in proportion to its intensity. "You and your friends going around and taking down Strigoi caused quite a stir, you know. Some Strigoi were even afraid."

Those eyes held a million questions. But she blurted out the expected one. "But not you?"

I gazed at her, trying to organize my scattered thoughts. Her blood was racing in her veins—I could sense it from this distance. "When I heard it was you…. No. I was curious. Wary."

It was several nights ago when one of the weak, fledgling Strigoi of Galina's fled to the estate and asked for me—Marlen, his name was. He then proceeded to tell in front of every Strigoi under Galina the group of rogue dhampirs bringing down Strigoi in the area, one by one.

He then looked at me half-curiously, half-grudgingly. I had been surprised then—no one ever looked me in the eye. They were often too scared or intimidated.

"A dhampir is looking for you." he narrowed his eyes on me. I had kept my face blank, but I was suddenly overcome with dread.

And excitement.

"Her name is Rose Hathaway," He continued. "She's a tough bitch."

I could not suppress a smile. I had felt Galina's eyes on me, astonished to see me show with any expression.

Even now, Rose was the only one who could make me act ways I could not imagine.

I had volunteered to hunt down this dhampir group, but my real intention was to find her. No Strigoi must get to her first. She might be hurt, or killed, or turned in the process. I cannot let that happen… because she was mine.

"If anyone could have killed me, it would have been you." We looked at each other, measuring. "But like I said, you hesitated. It was your ultimate test of my lessons, and you failed."

"I won't hesitate next time." she said evenly.

I smirked. "There won't be a next time. And anyway, as disappointed as I am in you, I'm still glad to be alive, of course."

Something ignited in her eyes. "You aren't alive. You're dead. Unnatural, You told me a long time ago you'd rather die than be like this." Her jaw was tight. "That's why I'm going to kill you."

Yes, I haven't forgotten that conversation. It was the first time I realized that Rose was way ahead of her peers in terms of perspective as a Guardian. It was the first time I saw her… as a woman, and not as a student.

But she was wrong. "You're only saying that because you don't know any better. I didn't either, back then."

"Look, I meant what I said," She repeated angrily. "I'm not playing your game. If I can't get out of here, then just kill me, okay?"

Such bold words, nothing less from her. I rewarded her with the stroke of my fingers over her cheekbones and down to the length of her face. I heard her little gasp. It was time she understood my motives.

"Killing you…. well, it's not that simple. There's a third option." I carefully observed her face—she was confused. I continued to touch her face lightly. "I could awaken you."

Pure shock flashed on her features. She truly believed that her death or freedom are the only outcomes in our little predicament.

"No," her voice was strangled. "No."

I continued my tone, making it as gentle and patient and persuasive as I could. "You don't know what it's like. It's…" I could not think of a strong enough word. "…amazing. Transcendent. All your senses are alive; the world is more alive—"

"Yeah," She cut in. "But you're dead."

"Am I?" I took her hand and placed it over my chest, exactly where my heart beats. To have her touch me at my most vulnerable spot—my only weakness, when I knew she wanted to kill me—was unthinkably arousing. And the softness and heat of her skin… "My heart beats. I'm breathing."

Her eyes widened with shock. Another myth busted. "Yeah, but…" she bit her lip, at a loss of what to say next. She shook her head. "It's not really being alive. It's… it's dark magic reanimating you. It's an illusion of life."

I finally took her face between my hands. My thumbs caressed her chin, willing her to look at me.

"It's better than life. It's like being a god, Rose. Strength. Speed. Able to perceive the world in ways you could never imagine," I lowered my voice to stress my words. "And immortality. We could be together forever."

"No…" I heard her whisper. I could see she was fighting the gravity of what I was saying. All I was telling her were completely opposite of what was taught to her as a dhampir. A Strigoi is evil. Nothing else mattered after that. Her lips trembled. "No… we can't be."

I let my fingers run downwards… from her jawline then the column of her slender neck. My fingertips could feel the blood rushing. She had no idea how much control I was mustering at this very instant. "We could. I could do it quickly. There'd be no pain. It'd be done before you even knew it."

Her eyes blanked out a bit. Perhaps the night has taken its toll on her. Or was it a flicker of hesitation?

But there was no time to ponder upon her face. Nathan burst from the door in a furious rage—I barely had time to push Rose behind me. I was not afraid of tackling this clumsy fool, but Rose might get hurt in a brawl with him. I must not take any chances—and with that I was resolved to put down my temper.

I hated it. But I had to do it. Focus, Dimitri.

I heard Rose's barely audible sharp intake of breath—and I knew she recognized him as the one who bit me in the cave. Where this all started.

Nathan met my hostile gaze. I never saw his importance in Galina's army. If I was the one in charge, I would have dispatched him a long time ago. But I wasn't the leader… yet.

"What the hell is going on?" he growled on me, not speaking in Russian—he clearly wanted to intimidate Rose as much as me. "You're keeping some pet here?"

Some pet. I chose to let that slide. "It's none of your concern, Nathan. Galina gave me permission."

Then Nathan's eyes slid from me and to the girl standing behind me. Instantly, he recognized Rose. What the hell, she wasn't easy to forget.

"Her?" he demanded.

And then his shock gave way to lust. I bit back a growl—I knew exactly what he was thinking. Biting back a snarl, I moved closer to Rose and changed my position from defensive to one that clearly told him I had no hesitations in ripping his face off from his skull.

But he didn't notice how serious I was. Nathan leered at her. "She was at the school in Montana… We fought…" Rose cringed slightly when he bared his fangs. "I would have tasted her blood if that fire-using Moroi brat hadn't been around."

He was goading me, to lose my temper. "That doesn't have anything to do with you."

"Are you kidding? She can lead us to the Dragomir girl!" I felt Rose's heartbeat go faster. It has occurred to me that she found the strength to leave Lissa to destroy her mentor—but clearly Rose was still attached to her. Another complication.

"…If we finish that line off, out names will be legendary." The fool was still talking. Strange. "How long are you going to keep her?"

This conversation has gone far enough. "Get out. That's not a request." I said flatly.

"She's valuable." He raised his finger to her. "If you're not going to keep her around as some blood whore plaything, at least share. Then," Nathan licked his lips, "we'll get the information and finish her."

He will die by my hands. One way or another.

I could not prevent myself from striding forward. My hand was twitching to rip his eyeballs out, but I maintained a resemblance of composure for Rose's sake. "Get out of here. If you lay a hand on her, I will destroy you. I will rip your head off with my bare hands and watch it burn in the sun."

"Galina won't allow you to play house with this girl." His tone became infused with fury—I have succeeded in irking him—but I wanted to do so much more. "Even you don't have that much favor."

Kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him….

_Not yet,_

"Don't make me tell you to leave again. I'm not in a patient mood today." I said flatly.

But Nathan fell silent. Even Rose drew slightly away from me and back into the wall upon hearing my last words. Her eyes darted to Nathan, then back at me. I stared at him ruthlessly, daring him to speak another word—which I will make sure to be his last.

I smelled fear in him. Always weak.

"This isn't over." He hissed like a spoiled child. "I'm talking to Galina."

And then he left abruptly. Eager to be away from me, the way he always did when he sensed I was getting to the limits of my patience. Even in this life, I did not like to act rashly. But it was harder now… and easier to just pull his heart out from his chest.

I glanced at Inna. "Put the food on the table." I said, unthinkingly in Russian.

She trembled but did as she was told, careful to avoid my eyes, or Rose's. She set the tray by the couch, near enough for Rose to see what it was.

Her eyes widened at the food, no doubt surprised what I was able to find for her. Anything perhaps, to make this easier.

"Lunch. Not poisoned."

She shook her head vigorously. "I'm not going to eat."

"Do you want something else?" I was sure of my memory of what Rose liked eating: pizza and brownies, all unhealthy food.

Her eyes flashed at me defiantly. "I don't want anything else because I'm not going to eat anything at all. If you aren't going to kill me, then I'll do it myself."

Rose never failed to amuse me. "By starving to death? I'll awaken you long before then."

"Why aren't you doing it just now?" she asked, and I could feel true confusion in her voice.

"Because I'd rather wait for you to be willing," I answered straightforwardly. But I was sure that my gaze on her betrayed the mounting yearning building inside me, the moment I entered this room, the moment I saw her on that street.

For the first time, she drew to her full height and stood up against me. Her jaw was tight.

"You're going to be waiting a long time."

I couldn't help my laugh then. She couldn't see that it was only a matter of time before she joins me. I was only biding my time with her, wanting the decision to be hers, because I wanted her to freely choose _me_.

And there was also a part of me that was enjoying this little game of ours, like the harmless ones we played at St. Vladimir's—those stolen touches and kisses in the Academy. Explosive, but harmless.

But not this game.

"We'll see," I replied, tilting my head to study her. And before I could rationalize to restrain myself from her, I moved closer at a speed I knew she was not able to follow. One of my hands went through her hair, to the nape of her neck, one hand on the side of her jaw. For a split second she realized what I was going to do, and she tried to shove me away, but it was too late.

Far too late.

I kissed her, feeling her warm lips yield to mine. So powerful, all-consuming, This was nothing like my old life. The scent of her hair, her sweat, her sweet blood, they assaulted my senses—breaking down all traces of discipline I had caged myself in. She struggled against me, but it was futile.

And then for a few moments… I felt her mouth move against mine.

_Yes_.

I let her go almost roughly, before things get any further than I had planned. Rose staggered back, her eyes wide and gasping for breath, unbelieving of what I just did.

Or perhaps, what she just did as well.

I saw Inna fidget on the side, and made me re-focus on what was needed to be done.

"This is Inna, " I said as calmly as I could, but it was nowhere near the truth. "She works for Galina too and will check on you." Rose's eyes darkened at my words—I ignored it. "If you need anything, let her know. She doesn't speak much English, but she'll figure it out."

Rose was looking at her, in a studying kind of way, and Inna looked back at her. She was very curious about Rose—much more than I liked.

"Leave first," I said sharply to her in Russian. Quickly, she bowed her head and walked outside.

"Where are you going?" Rose asked when she realized I was about to leave too.

"I have things to do." I could not tell her I was going to hunt, because I was certain that Rose will not be react to that lightly. I needed to lower her guard down if I ever wanted Rose's awakening to be her decision. "Besides, you need time to think."

Her eyes narrowed, fire burning in them. "There's nothing to think about." She snapped defiantly.

Convincing.

Almost.

_Your body betrays your words, Roza_, I wanted to tell her. But no need to torture her further with the mind games. I had all the time in the world, and she had nowhere to go.

I gave her one patronizing smile as I locked the door behind me, ending the conversation.

**

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**

**A/N: Um, I'm going back to my dark corner and wait for your thoughts. *waves weakly and disappears***


	4. Three

**A/N: Thank you for everyone who reviewed and added me on alerts and favorites :) I'm thankful that no one has brought pitchforks and stakes on me yet. This one might though. *prepares to crawi back to my dark corner***

**Thank you to ohayou/zmeyette for the beta work, as always. She has already enrolled in the most prestigious law school in our country, and I am so excited for her new adventures!**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

* * *

**THREE**

I stood, fixed as a statue on Galina's right as her various contacts and spies—Strigoi, Moroi and even human—came inside the library to fill her in with the latest information. Some came to bring her gifts of all kinds imaginable—diamonds, gold, jewels and other kinds of treasure designed to assuage gods. They all wanted Galina's favor and alliance, which had taken me by surprise when I first learnt of these meetings. As a dhampir, I thought it was impossible to organize Strigoi to work together because of their nature, but I was wrong. Given the right conditions, rewards, and leader, they can be made to do whatever Galina wanted them to.

And I was quickly learning.

If I paid attention, I would hear about their discussion about attacking an estate in Moscow owned by the extended royal family of Drosdov. Galina wanted more Guardians to be awakened and recruited to her army, since they were already trained and they knew inside information. Like what they have done to me. I can't feel any regret towards that now, because this is what I was supposed to be. I can and will kill any Moroi, dhampir or human who was foolish enough to get in my way.

Right now, Galina was conferring with a group of humans who were close to the Zeklos family she was targeting and were willing to set them up and betray them—in exchange for immortality. Humans were more despicable than Strigoi in many more ways.

The human scent kept reminding me of blood—but I had already fed on a human girl not much older than me in the alley this evening. She had black hair and big eyes and warm skin… I knew exactly why I chose her.

Rose was still sleeping soundly upstairs, as Inna had dutifully reported before I attended this gathering. Exhaustion had probably overwhelmed her, so it was good she had finally succumbed to rest.

And soon, she will to me.

"The blueprint of the mansion will be delivered within a week, mistress." A balding man who looked the most cunning of the lot bowed respectfully. There was no trace of apprehension in him of being inside a room full of Strigoi who wanted nothing more but drink them dry. But the others were sweating like pigs and shaking faintly that was not noticeable to human senses.

Galina waved one lazy hand. "I shall be waiting until then." She dismissed them.

Slowly, they backed off the room and exited. I could hear their heartbeats slow significantly as soon they stepped in the corridor. I glanced at Galina and a smirk was playing on her lips. Ah, so she meant to destroy the humans after she had gotten the blueprint she was asking for. She didn't see them fit to be awakened.

Nathan hissed. "We should have slaughtered them on the spot."

"All in good time." she said. "We need the plans of that estate. The mansion is well-protected with hidden traps and escape corridors. We need to capture as many Guardians possible." Many Guardians will die in an attempt to protect their Moroi, but a lot more will be awakened by the time we were through. Only the guardians will be spared. Everyone else perishes.

She addressed me then. "What do you think, Dimitri? Keep or kill them?"

When she was my instructor, Galina had been strict and a disciplinarian. That was until after training hours where she would rib me of all the girls who make a pass at me, or whatever else she found amusing. Now that we were awakened, she would always taunt me to get some reaction, but of course, there was no fondness here, no warmth.

I don't feel anything from it, either.

"Kill them." I said curtly.

She laughed mirthlessly, a lost sign of her old amusement. Nathan shot me a baleful glance, no doubt resenting Galina's favoring me over him. I kept my face expressionless.

"You may go Nathan." Galina said. "Dimitri and I have something more to talk about."

The resentment was replaced with unabashed satisfaction in Nathan's face. So I knew this was about Rose. With a leer, Nathan stepped out and closed the door behind him. I walked from Galina's right to stand in front of her. I was careful to show my submission, although every fiber of my new being detested being dominated by another.

She tilted her head, studying me. "About your…_pet_. Is she comfortable enough for your liking, Dimitri?"

There was the taunting edge again. I did not bite it. "Yes, I thank you again for your hospitality."

"Nathan spoke to me about the dhampir girl."

"I imagine he had." I said, not bothering to hide my boredom.

She smiled at that, a calculating smile. "Nathan… he doesn't see beyond what is in front of him. All he is seeing is that I am favoring you by tolerating that girl inside the mansion. And that the girl is dinner."

I said nothing. All my plans to wait for Rose's decision will go up in flames if Galina would decree herself that I had to awaken her right now. But now was not the time yet. I waited.

Her red-rimmed eyes stared at me shrewdly. "But that is where you and I are the same. We had always seen things differently, even as you were still my student. I see the value of the girl in my army, as she had been responsible for decimating quite a number of them." There was no anger in them, and why would she be? All her soldiers were pawns. They perish first—and quickly.

"And it is obvious you think very highly of her." Galina said. "Your star student, was she?"

"Yes." _And more_. "You have been most magnanimous about this." I told her, measuring my words very carefully.

"But do yourself a favor and don't get too comfortable with this set-up." She said, her tone turning dark with warning for the first time. Of course I knew she was not happy with what I was doing—wanting to give a teenage girl an illusion of choice.

"Of course." I said smoothly. "I am certain she'll join us soon."

"Have you tasted her blood?"

Rose's blood. I controlled the lust that came over me. It took me every ounce of control that was left in my body to not bite her when I had kissed her lips.

"Not yet… but I will." _Yes. Soon. _ My mind held nothing but that desire to taste her.

Her eyes widened in true surprise. "No? I am surprised. And in this life, it is very hard to surprise me." she mused. "But your actions had always been the unexpected, isn't it, Dimitri?"

She smiled again in that cold, devious way of hers and made me think for a moment if she suspected that I was planning to kill her in the future.

I met her eyes unflinchingly, saying nothing. No, she wouldn't have any idea. By this time, she trusted me far too much—Rose's staying in this mansion was proof of that. It was clear that I had to be cunning to outsmart her eventually, but I was learning quickly. Far too quickly than she has realized.

After a few moments, she looked away, already bored toying with me. "Don't leave a mess."

It was my signal to leave. I gave a curt nod and went out, to be with Rose again.

**~o0o~**

I slipped inside the room quietly, and found her sleeping so soundly on the bed as if she were still in her dorm room in St. Vladimir's. I approached her as silently as I could, not wanting her to be alarmed with my presence. I stood over her on the side of the bed, my eyes greedily roving her slackened features. It occurred to me that this was the first time, and the only time I would ever see her guard down with me. Rose couldn't see past my being Strigoi. I could see it in her face—it was warring. The knowledge that all Moroi and dhampir lose themselves upon awakening… and seeing me. I know it was confusing her, and I was going to confuse her even more.

She sighed in her sleep and turned to her side, making her hair fall down on her face. I resisted the urge to touch it. As controlled as I was, I did not want to test its limits today, not while she was completely oblivious to my presence. I'd rather she was awake when I touch her again.

But I could not leave her side. My eyes were taking in every detail that I could, all those days where I only saw her face in my thoughts. I dreaded the day that we would finally meet, but that was a showing of weakness in my part. If I knew any better, I would have come for her in Montana myself. A grim realization seized me; I will not be so indecisive again.

Her breathing started to get shallower; I knew she was coming awake. With one last look at her, I sped to the living room area and brought out a paperback I knew she would remember as a part of who she thought I was. In truth, I've lost interest in them because I was now living the life I was only reading in books—kill or be killed.

I sat on the couch, my back turned to her, but all my senses were focused on only one place inside the room. Every twitch of her fingers, every breath that comes out of her lungs, the rush of her blood in her veins—

And then I heard her get up, as if someone held a gong above her and had hit it... loudly. Her heart was racing, and even more so when I knew she had already realized I was in the room.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, quickly throwing off her body from the bed.

"Waiting for you to wake up." I turned another page.

She paused before answering. "Sounds kind of boring." True Rose-bravado.

At the corner of my eye I saw her walk past me—farthest away as possible—and leaned against the opposite wall, crossing her arms defensively. As if it were any use. But it amused me to no end she was trying.

"Not so boring." _Not when I was watching you_. "I had company." I held up the book.

Shock crossed her features. And then that confusion again. I hid my smile.

"You slept for a long time." I told her.

Her eyes darted to the dark window. It was nighttime already. She underestimated the toll it was taking on her body.

I gestured to the empty plates, not bothering to hide my amusement. "And you ate."

"Yeah well, I'm a sucker for pepperoni." She snapped. "What do you want?"

I wanted a lot of things, but I was sure she was not ready to hear half of it. I set the book on the table.

"To see you." I said simply.

"Really? I thought your only goal was to make me one of the living dead." She retorted.

I let that pass—for now. Rose was being herself, and I would be patient. I can be patient. But I would make sure she would not be joking about it for too long.

"Aren't you tired of always standing?" I mused at her pose.

She crossed her arms even tighter. "I just woke up. And if I can spend another hour tossing furniture around, a little standing isn't that big deal."

"Sitting is not a big deal either. I told you before, I'm not going to hurt you."

Her eyes flashed at me. "Hurt is kind of a subjective term." But she walked to the armchair across me and sat, looking courageous. Fearless.

She raised an eyebrow. "Happy now?"

I chose to remain quiet for a while as I studied her now that she was sitting directly across my sight. Her hair was a mess in a haphazard ponytail and her face was more exhausted as it had ever been… but it did not matter.

"You still stay beautiful. Even after sleeping and fighting." I murmured, watching her reaction to my words. She was being poker-faced, and doing a good job of it. I glanced at the pile of clothes I had Inna sent to her earlier.

"You don't like any of them?" I inquired. I was sure that those clothes would be flattering for Rose, and I knew she had a weakness for pretty things.

"I'm not here to play dress-up with you." she spat at me. "Designer clothes aren't going to suddenly get me on board with the Strigoi club."

I forcefully held her eyes with my own. "Why don't you trust me?"

Her eyes widened with an unbelieving stare. "How can you ask that? You abducted me. You kill innocent people to survive. You aren't the same."

There was only one thing amiss with her little speech. "I'm better, I told you. And as for the innocent, no one is really innocent. Besides, the world is made up of predators and prey. Those who are strong conquer those who are weak. It's part of the natural order."

I remembered the girl I drained dry this evening—I chose her because she had resembled Rose in a way. But of course she did not. She was weak, she had pleaded and she died. Rose would have fought with all her strength.

"You used to be into that, if I remember correctly." I reminded her, during those early days that she was brought back to the Academy. I was the one always restraining her, now I wanted to unleash her.

But she had to be awakened first.

She looked away. "It's different."

"But not in the way you think." I disagreed almost politely. "Why should drinking blood be so strange to you? You've seen Moroi do it. You've let Moroi do it."

My last phrase made her recoil slightly. I knew she was remembering the high from being bitten by a Moroi. But  
it was nothing compared to what I can do to her.

"They don't kill." She replied stubbornly.

"They're missing out. It's incredible. To drink the blood of another…" I closed my eyes, my nose inhaling, trying to remember the sensation of blood that I pulled from a living neck, as the liquid would hit the roof of my mouth and filled my throat… "To watch the life fade from them and feel it pour into you… it's the greatest experience in the world."

"It's sick and it's wrong."

I opened my eyes and found her staring at me like she saw something that disgusted her. I didn't like it. Time to change tactics then.

With a fast move I knew even her dhampir eyes could not follow, I grabbed her from where she was sitting and pinned her on the couch underneath me. She barely had time to register what happened—she was already in my grasp when she tried to struggle against me. I leaned over her, pressing my body against the length of hers. So warm.

"No it's not. And that's where you have to trust me. You'd love it." I murmured to her. She needed to hear this now. What was supposed to happen."I want to be with you, Rose. Really be with you. We're free of the rules that others put on us. We can be together now—the strongest of the strong, taking everything we want. We can eventually be as strong as Galina. We could have a place just like this, all our own."

Her expression was still stunned, but slowly it hardened again. I felt her shift her arm slightly but it was a futile effort. "I don't want any of this."

I smiled at her. "Don't you want me? You wanted me once."

"No." A clear lie. I was gaining ground, and we both sensed it.

"What do you want then? To go back to the Academy? To serve Moroi who will throw you into danger without second thought?" For a moment I was truly angry—I tried to rein it in. "If you wanted that kind of life, why did you come here?"

Her eyes were defiant. "I came to free you."

"I am free. And if you'd really intended to kill me, you would have." I moved my mouth closer to her neck and breathed in her scent. She pressed herself farther away, but there was no space left to go. "You couldn't."

She spoke through clenched teeth. "I messed up. It won't happen again."

I let one finger trace the faint lines of her veins that ran on her neck. She shivered, but I wondered how much was disgust, and how much was desire.

"Suppose that were true. Suppose you were able to kill me now." Laughable thought. "Suppose you were even able to escape. What then, will you go back home? Will you return to Lissa and let her continue bleeding spirit's darkness into you?"

The mention of her name made her body freeze. She looked at me colder than I had ever seen her before. I succeeded in angering her.

"I don't know." She almost growled at me.

"It will consume you, you know." I continued my fingers exploration of the skin in her neck. "As long as she continues to use her magic, no matter how far away you go, you'll always feel the side effects." But that would not be the case for long, if Galina's plans push through. "At least as long as she's alive."

"What's that mean? Are you going to join Nathan and hunt her down?" she demanded, twisting her face away from me as far as possible.

_That_ was a wrong move on my part. Obviously, she still cared for Lissa too much and I saw that was going to be a hindrance between us. But until Galina can gather a large enough army to execute the Moroi royals… I had to put Lissa as far as I can from Rose's mind.

And there was only one way to do that.

Anticipation built inside me.

"What happens to her is no concern of mine," I said in an almost afterthought way, not wanting to make her defensive any more. "You are. If you were awakened, Lissa would no longer be a threat to you. You'd be free. The bond would break."

And you would be mine, finally.

She still would not meet my eyes, clearly still angry. "And what would happen to her? She'd be left alone."

_I'm alone as well, Roza._ I wanted to shake her and shout at her… but she would not believe me. If I was to be compared with her loyalty to the Moroi princess, then it was a lopsided battle. But who said I was going to play this fair?

"Like I said, that's no concern of mine." As of now. There were more important things to be dealt with. I lowered my voice to her ear. "Being with you is."

"Yeah? Well I don't want to be with you." she said coldly.

My fingers caught he chin and forced her to face me again. When she lifted her eyes to me in a gesture of defiance, all I saw was her confusion again. That was good.

"I don't believe you." I said.

"Believe what you want, I don't want you anymore." She replied angrily.

"You're lying." I smiled patiently. "I can always tell. I've always been able to."

She shook her head slightly. "It's the truth. I wanted you before. I don't want you now."

"My exterior…" I shifted my face so our lips and noses would almost touch. I was breathing in the same air she was letting out. "…my power, yes, that's different. Better. But otherwise, I'm the same Roza." Something passed in her eyes when I said her name. "My essence hasn't changed. The connection between us hasn't changed. You just can't see it yet."

"Everything's changed."

"If I'm so different, then why don't I force you into an awakening? Why am I giving you the choice?"

Her mouth opened slightly, as if she was about to say something, but quickly closed it again. I gave a satisfied smile. "And if I'm so different, why did you kiss me earlier?"

She swallowed, and for the first time all her stubbornness faded away. She realized what I was saying.

"No answer. You know I'm right." And then I crushed my lips to hers again. This time, I was not going to pull away.

I felt her hands move against my chest in an effort to shove him away, but that was in vain. And so was the sound she made to stop me. Because not long after I had parted her lips with my tongue, she had yielded to me completely.

I raked one of my hands through her hair, and held her head against mine. My other hand slipped inside her shirt, so I could feel the soft skin of her back. In response she pushed her body closer to mine, and I felt every line of her body respond to my touch. We kissed harder, deeper than I had ever done before and my body ached to do what I wanted more—this certainly will never be enough.

And then she jerked away from me. I was too overwhelmed with the deluge of sensations that I had accidentally let her go. She moved her face away, breathing heavily.

"No… no… we can't do this."

Her pleads were music to my ears. I reveled in it, her submission to me, finally. My hands were still tangled in her hair—I forced her head to face me again. She did so with fear in her eyes.

"Are you sure?" I murmured, letting my nose trace her cheekbones, to her ear. I whispered to her, making my voice illicit. "You didn't seem to mind. Everything can be just like it was before… like it was in the cabin. You certainly wanted it then."

I could still feel the way her nails dug on to my back. The way her legs wrapped around me. So completely. The way she had given herself to me that moment. No reservations. Rose had always been so fearless.

But fear of my kind was trumping against her natural instincts. This had been instilled in her ever since she was a little girl—that Strigoi needed to be killed. She never questioned that fact. Until I was awakened and she realized she _could not_ kill me.

"No, I don't want that." Her voice broke.

I smiled at her and brought my lips to her cheek very softly. I felt heat pool in response, and I knew I was still winning. I made my way lower, to her delicate but defined jawline, to the skin underneath it, then finally to her neck again. My tongue sought out the spot where her vein throbs the hardest.

"What about this? Do you want this?" I whispered against her skin.

"Wh—"

I sunk my fangs in her, piercing the skin like butter. She gasped out aloud in alarm, but I held her in place, tipping her head to the side as I sucked. Warm blood gushed out immediately and I greedily lapped it all up. Her taste was rich and consuming; that I knew all my future victims will be bland and lacking from here on.

As I latched on to her neck, I felt her body soften and melt against me—I knew the bite was working now. The endorphins from my bite will cloud her judgment and all she would ever think about from now on was when I was going to bite her next.

She would not be alone in that aspect.

All too soon, I had to pull away. I had to take care not to drink too much or else there will be no more choosing for her. I would drain her and she would drink from me… and then the game will be over.

There was a strong part of me that never wanted it to be over. Not with how she tasted. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and I realized I too, was short of breath. I licked her blood from my fingers, not wanting to waste a single drop of it.

Rose was staring at me, her eyes wide with shock, but at the same time dazed with what just happened.

"Why… what…. You said it would be my choice…" she asked, barely able to form the words.

"It still is." I fought to stabilize my breathing. This would take some time getting used to… I was not prepared for what it would do to me. "I'm not doing this to awaken you, Roza. A bite like this won't turn you."

I nuzzled her neck again, and this time, she did not protest. I smiled triumphantly. "This, well, this is just for fun."

And then I lowered my lips to the wounds I made, caressing the blood that was running down to her collarbones. I licked every drop, and then I bent my lips to her neck again and again.

**

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A/N: oh hai there. Still with me? *waves weakly and slowly crawls back to my dark corner***

**Next update will be in three days.**

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	5. Four

**A/N: Thank you for the hits, story alerts and faves. Don't hesitate to leave me your thoughts… I love reading them (good or bad) :D Special thanks to those who reviewed… yes I perfectly understand what you feel. :D**

**Thank you again to my lovely beta, ohayou/Zmyette.**

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FOUR**

Her blood was spreading on the cement like wine spilled on tablecloth. I lowered her lifeless body on the ground, the dead skin paler than snow. It was virtually drained of blood—yet I was not satisfied. There was only one taste in the world that could satisfy me, and I was eager to have it tonight again.

But first…

I toed the corpse. She was vibrantly beautiful and alive a few minutes ago. Her hair was dark, almost black, and she had huge eyes that cried so many tears when I grabbed her neck and she realized she was going to die.

"Please don't hurt me…" she had pleaded.

The built was almost the same—this human girl. Her body was almost the same frame. But she was only a substitute for what I wanted. And her face was pathetic. Crying and whining and pleading… I preferred the ones who fought first.

Rose would have fought me. Still would, if I had not bitten her.

"What's your name?" I asked softly. Stretch out the moment. Toy with her.

Her sobs quieted a little—enough for her to be able to answer. "Camilla."

"What are you doing out this late?" I mused. No lady in this city should have been out at this hour. Unfortunate girl.

"I-I was waiting for my boyfriend from his shift…" she said, her voice shaking again.

"I see." My eyes traveled to her neck. I loosened the scarf she wore—she trembled more at this point. But I was not going to bite her… yet. I saw something interesting.

She was wearing a necklace… three exquisite sapphire stones set on a platinum chain. It did not suit her at all—but I know someone who deserved this more than her.

More reason not to let her live.

"You have a beautiful necklace." I murmured. "But I think it'll look better on another girl I know."

Her eyes became wild. "You can have it! Please take it… just don't hurt me please—"

I slid my palm to her jaw and bent my mouth near her ear. "Oh I would take it. But I have to take something else for myself too."

"Then please… anything, just don't—"

I jerked her neck sideward and sank my fangs on the pulsing artery. Her arms flailed out, she tried to scream for help… loud, gurgling screams. But a few minutes later she was silent and limp. And now, dead.

I snapped the necklace from her now, my eyes studying the stones. She must have been rich. Although I had unlimited access to jewels and money because of my allegiance to Galina, I wanted the best for Rose. I had never given her anything except for that cheap lip balm I bought her in Montana. She was so incredibly happy over it. Then no doubt the treasures I gift her would soften her bit by bit. Rose may be a warrior, but she is a woman as well.

I pocketed the necklace as I sensed Marlen arriving from the opposite side of the alley. His gaze went from me then down to girl sprawled on the ground.

Marlen smirked. "Never saw you for a sadist, Belikov."

I walked past him, and I can smell human scent all over him—more than one. We were all sadists and murderers. But no one gives a damn. I don't.

"Dispose the body immediately." I said, turning away, not wanting small talk.

His eyes flashed. "I'm not here to clean up after you—"

I looked at him again. I saw him recoil slightly.

"Do you have intentions of joining that girl, Marlen? I have no problem helping you with that."

His face twitched and mumbled a string of Russian profanities. But he turned to the alley to collect the corpse.

I sped back to the mansion, wanting to join Rose again. And no doubt she was waiting for me eagerly—my bites have drugged her very thoroughly. If anything, she was as eager for it as I was.

I wanted Rose's blood. There is a huge part in me that wanted to drain her dry—alongside my want to awaken her. Tasting her blood only amplified my desires. I wanted Rose—in any way, every way possible. It was only a matter of time before this control I have completely snapped. As it is, I was fairly sure it was almost unheard of in Strigoi. The only ones I know who have control are the ones who rose in power—like Galina, but she herself had expressed the surprise that I had managed not to bite Rose the moment I saw her on the street.

But this control only fed my essence; that I was a monster that wanted nothing of control. I wanted to kill, destroy, mutilate anyone and anything that I wanted. Every moment that I restrained myself, it only added to the waiting consequences of my restraint.

Choosing a victim was the part I looked forward to the most. The life of one helpless being was now in my hands. That life is going to cease the moment I decide to. Like a god.

No, I _am_ a god in my victim's eyes tonight.

My eyes scanned the gardens of Galina's estate that were soaked with the moonlight. I remembered the girl in the alley—Camilla was it? Unfortunate for her family that will never see her again, her lover that will never hold her again. Pity, pity.

I smiled to myself. _Pity_. That was just a word now. I didn't feel an ounce of mercy or empathy towards her. She was weak and dinner. And she was dead. That was all there was to it.

I usually preferred Moroi, not because I believed that their blood strengthen me, but because I hated them more. But my choices were varied.

These days, I prefer towards dark-haired girls.

"Hey you're back."

Rose was lying on the couch, a lazy smile spreading on her face. She turned the TV off immediately and walked towards me.

I shut the door firmly—but in truth there was no need now to be so cautious about it. Rose could hardly care if the door was wide open as long as I would bite her. I see the hunger in her eyes.

And the tiredness too. Her movements were slower, more languid. The blood loss was taking its toll on her, aside from the fact that she spent hours only lying on the bed and the couch. It was not her lifestyle as a novice Guardian.

Which was exactly what I wanted. I wanted her weak and submissive to me as long as she had not consented to be awakened.

I caught her in my arms and tipped her chin up to me. "You sound like you're the one who had a long day."

She pouted. "It _was_ a long day without you here."

"Maybe I should make it better then."

There was the hunger again... mine now. I pushed it back—I should not bite her so soon.

"Definitely." She murmured and tiptoed in my arms so she could reach my mouth. If she cared for my fangs before, she had no reservations about this now.

I lifted her off the floor and carried her to the bed without breaking the kiss. My fingers tangled themselves to the roots of her hair as I moved my lips against hers, closer, deeper. I heard a little moan from her mouth, digging her nails on my arm when she got aroused. I felt her body lighting up with my every touch, every kiss, every pass my hands make on her neck, her arms, her thighs… and every inch closer I sink into these sensations, her reactions matches mine.

It cannot be denied that she had equal power over me in these moments as well. I would have done anything for her to let me get this close to her. And I should hate that fact—but curiously I don't. Not with Rose. Not like this.

If I still appreciated beauty, then it was only hers, nothing more.

So powerful, so enthralling.

"Roza…" I whispered her name against her lips. Her eyes remained closed, but she smiled. "I cannot imagine how beautiful you are going to be when I've awakened you. You will be unstoppable, so very powerful…" I let my mouth trail to her jaw, then up to her ear. "Even I would have to watch my back from you."

"That's ridiculous." She replied. I did not know on which part of my sentence she referred to.

"You'll see Roza."

"So now I'm not beautiful, is that it?" she demanded.

I smiled at the pettiness in her tone. I kissed her earlobe and slightly sucked at it as punishment for even thinking such thoughts. She gasped and hooked her arms around my neck to get closer.

"I've told you before, haven't I? You'll always be beautiful to me."

I only knew what beauty meant when I met her. There was no sweetness in it, no sentimentality, no tenderness. Only a fact that did not change even as I was reborn in this new life.

"Let me see your neck." I said.

"Already?" she asked. But she shifted her long hair out of the way to expose her neck to me, willingly. I smiled again—she thought as I was going to bite her now.

That part would come later.

I brought out the platinum necklace from my pocket. Rose's eyes widened as she stared at it.

My hands brought it around her neck—the sapphire winked splendidly even from the dim lights.

"Beautiful." I said again. My fingers ran from the stones, to the chain and back to her skin. I tugged at straps of her dress. "It matches."

She smiled, happy that I was pleased. I bent down to kiss her again, but softly as I could manage.

"Where did you get it?" she asked as soon as I let her mouth go.

I thought about the sound the girl's neck made when I snapped it dead. The sapphires did not suit her anyway.

"I have my sources." I replied, teasing her with a vague answer.

She frowned as if thinking hard. Occasionally, I had to let her think for herself, or else this game of wanting her to turn Strigoi of her own free will would mean nothing.

"You're just like Abe." She suddenly blurted out.

I stilled. "Who?"

"This guy I met. Abe Mazur. He's some kind of mob boss… he kept following me."

That name. Janine Hathaway mentioned this name only once. I had remembered because this was a huge part of Rose's life—Ibrahim Mazur. A very powerful Moroi who needed no royal blood to have such command with resources: money, weapons, guardians, influence.

Our group had encounters in the past—they were all unavoidable little skirmishes. Yet we were not yet able to take even one Guardian from him. Ibrahim Mazur commands the very best of the Guardians, promised or not. But my experience with him was that he preferred to keep quiet and undetected. He did not even interfere when we slay Royals in his area—as long as we did not touch him directly, he did not give a damn about us.

That changes now.

"Abe Mazur was following you?" I could not help the darkness seeping in my tone.

I could feel Rose taken aback by my reaction. "Yeah. So?"

"Why? What did he want with you?" I demanded. Did Rose already know that it was her father looking for her?

She shrugged, unconcerned. "I don't know. He kept wanting to know why I was in Russia but finally gave up and wanted me to leave. I think somebody from home hired him to find me."

No she didn't. It was a small relief. If she had known it was her father then she might have been more persuaded to be shipped back to Montana. But then again, maybe not. Rose never wanted to know her father. Janine had seen to that.

But fuck. Ibrahim Mazur was after Rose. With good reason. I did not believe for a moment that he was hired—it was more likely that Janine had sought the help of her ex-lover in desperation. Who knew that Abe gave a damn about the daughter he sired. But that did not matter. The moment Galina gets wind of this, she would no doubt order me to awaken Rose whether she wanted it or not. Or else kill her.

Rose was not ready yet for any of these things.

How much does Abe Mazur know? Did he know that I have his daughter and that I intend to awaken her? Would he learn of my relationship with her and connect it to Rose's arrival in Russia?

I tried to rein in my anger. "I don't want you near Abe Mazur. He's dangerous."

Not that I was any different, but Rose was _mine_. I didn't want anyone interfering with my plans for her. Her fate lies with me alone; whatever I decide to do, it will be her future.

I dragged the straps of her dress further down her arms, exposing more of her skin to me. I tried to regain the mood we had earlier. "Of course, people like that won't be an issue when you awaken."

Her eyes studied me. As if I was her only world. I reveled in it. "What have you been doing today?" she asked.

I ran my tongue on her collarbones before I spoke. "Errands for Galina. Dinner."

Immediately I felt her stiffen. That was a slip—I should have not mentioned the killing to her. She was still averse to it. But it was so easy—so natural to talk to her. It was one of the things that attracted her to me.

I looked up her face prepared to see the disgust. But all I see was… jealousy.

"Do you drink from them…. For fun?" her eyes narrowed at me.

I almost laughed. Coming from Rose, that was almost twisted. I returned to her neck once more, running my fangs to the tender line of her slender throat, almost breaking the skin. Almost.

"No, Roza. They're food; that's all. It's over quickly. You're the only one I take pleasure in."

She smiled widely at that, apparently satisfied with my answer. I was talking now, of course. Before I met Rose again, however, was a different story. I had a lot of bloodwhores. Most of them casualties before I was able to master my urges.

Rose lifted her hands to touch my face. She had a very soft expression. Almost… moving. I felt her fingers caress the strands of my hair. She sighed softly.

"You keep wanting to awaken me, but we won't be able to do this anymore. Strigoi don't drink from each do they?"

"No. But it will be worth it. We can do so much more."

She trembled with pleasure… I knew she was thinking about what happened in the cabin. The one time we possessed each other completely. She consumed me whole and alive—there was no part of her body that I did not know. Yet the hunger never subsided.

Lying with her now, so exposed and vulnerable to me, it was truly a wonder that we had not sex yet. She was willing to do it—I can always sense it—but I held back. This was a bargaining chip I have—to chain her to the urges of her body and let her be a slave to it. And then perhaps…

"Here it comes. The sales pitch. Eternal life. Invincible. Nothing to stand in our way." She teased me.

Rose's sing-song voice taunting the control and mercy I was giving her suddenly had me irritated now.

"It's not a joke."

I held her down on the bed, pinning her wrists on either side of her head. She watched me wide-eyed, fearful. I tried to be gentle, but between Galina's shortening patience and the knowledge that her father was out there looking for her—I was now getting… _impatient_.

"We can't stay like this forever." I said through clenched teeth. "You can't stay here forever."

She winced, and I let go of her abruptly. I saw that her wrists had reddened. I was too rough—but Rose lifted herself up and wrapped her arms around my neck as if nothing happened.

"Can't we talk about that later?" she murmured.

She kissed me fervently. I cannot help but kiss her back. She did not need to know that I was just as helpless as her when she was pliant and willing in my arms.

Don't get too comfortable with this set-up.

I pulled away from the kiss. I cannot let her have her way every time she wanted it.

"Come on, let's go." I got out from the warmth of the bed.

She stared at me, dazed. "Where are we going?"

"Outside."

Surprise stole her face. "Out… outside? But…that's not allowed. We can't—"

Annoyance flared inside me again. She was questioning my power in this place. This was not unlike before, when I had no influence on the Moroi system. She, who thought I was the one responsible for letting her and Vasilisa stand witness on Victor Dashkov's trial when it was that insufferable Ivashkov who pulled the strings for her. Never again.

"We can do anything we want." I said curtly. I offered my hand to help her up from the bed. She followed me to the door. I still remembered to block her view when I keyed in the password, but Rose was heavy-lidded, distracted. She would never remember it even if I whisper the code to her right now.

After entering the code on the second door, I took her arm as we stepped outside the hallway of the mansion. I felt Rose gasp—perhaps at the opulence of the mansion. Galina had a weakness for pretty and expensive things—things she couldn't have if she remained a dhampir.

All of this will be for Rose and I, soon enough.

My senses stirred… Nathan was standing against the wall and we needed to pass by him. Anger coursed inside me again, but this time I did not fight it. I let myself sink into the need for violence.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I'm taking her for a walk." I said flatly, obviously, making his question looked downright stupid.

He got up from the wall and faced me head on. I knew he was gearing up for a fight. I was all ready for it. Will even goad him for a chance to land my fist on his face.

"That's against the rules. Bad enough you've still got her here. Galina gave orders for you to keep her confined. We don't need some rogue dhampir running around."

"Does she look like a threat?" I asked him.

I knew what he would see: Rose was—for all intents and purposes—drugged. Her physical capabilities are bound to the rush my bites give her. Even if she bolted from me in the garden, she would never get far.

Nathan leered at Rose before replying. "No. But I was ordered to babysit this door, and I'm not going to get in trouble for you taking a field trip."

"I'll deal with Galina. I'll tell her I overpowered you." I said as if it was the obvious. I smirked at him. "That shouldn't be so hard for her to believe."

He cast me a dark glare. That struck a nerve. "You're so full of yourself. I didn't awaken you so that you could act like you're in charge around here. I did it so we could use your strength and inside knowledge. You should be answering to me."

_That_ struck a nerve. I resented that fact—and until now I was not over it. Regret had nothing to do with it, but I abhorred the fact that he was my maker. That I needed Nathan's bite for me awaken. If Rose understood this, I would not have been waiting this long for her decision.

Nathan will pay for that little reminder.

I turned my back from him, taking Rose to my side. I had to make sure she would not be harmed by the little show that was about to happen. Good for her to know what I was capable, as well.

"Not my fault if you were not strong enough to make me do it."

He strode forward, quick as lightning, making Rose cry out in alarm. But I was ready for him—I knew he was not going to let my little quip pass.

I dodged his hands and shoved him hardly across the hall. The momentum threw him off backwards, but Nathan quickly recovered and lunged for me again. Pathetic fool, always aiming for the obvious.

I met him halfway, even before he could raise his fist to block me—I drove my fist to the center of his face, three times until blood gushed out of his nose and mouth. I wanted a fourth, but I will inflict real damage by then. This was just a warning, after all.

Nathan crumpled to the ground, on all fours. He struggled to get up, but my foot found its way to his stomach, kicking him hard until he doubled over.

But this was nowhere near enough. I would truly relish killing him once I had dispatched Galina. I was sure I would never acquire Nathan's loyalty if I were to ascend to leadership. Better weed him out early on.

"Don't try it. You'll lose." I said simply.

I looked at my hand covered with his blood. Disgusting. I wiped it off before I took Rose's hand again. She looked utterly horrified—and I realized that this was the first time she saw what I was capable of in this form. I did not regret it.

I led Rose to the winding staircase just as Nathan bellowed his threats on us. "You're not safe! Neither of you is. She's lunch, Belikov. _Lunch_."

Of course she was, but she could be so much more than that. I gripped her hand more tightly. Rose knows this. She _should_ know this by now. I did not want for her to go to waste.

But if she did not agree with me soon…

"Nathan scares me." she said in a small voice. I looked at her but she was staring straight ahead, as if in a daze.

Did she question my strength to defend her? I answered more sharply than I intended to. "He won't touch you. You have nothing to worry about."

She fell silent after that. I carried her so she did not have to go through the flights of stairs—and it was obvious that her body would not be able to take it. Her dhampir body was a hindrance to her potential.

Marlen looked up from his post when we approached the main entrance he was guarding. His eyes narrowed at me and Rose—but he knew better than to question it. No doubt he heard my little confrontation with Nathan upstairs.

And he already used up my quota for patience for his insolence a while ago on the street.

His gaze flickered on Rose again… I felt Rose stiffen. She realized the Strigoi she so beautifully tortured in Novosibirsk. I repressed a smile… I haven't properly thanked Rose for that yet.

Marlen addressed her. "Rose Hathaway. I remember your name—just like you told me."

Rose's face remained impassive, but I felt her hand twitch on mine. She was scared. Natural, but unnecessary.

"He wants to kill me." she said timidly the moment we stepped outside.

I was amused. "All Strigoi want to kill you."

She shook her head. "He really does… I tortured him."

"I know." And I was absurdly smug that she was able to take him on. "He's been in disgrace ever since then and lost some of his status here."

She winced. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

I wasn't trying to make her feel better—only the truth. I tugged at her hand towards the gardens. "Marlen is no one you need to worry about. You fighting him only proved to Galina that you're a good addition around here. He's beneath you." This was, in fact, my card for letting Rose stay in the mansion. I had promised Galina her loyalty the moment she was awakened.

And it will be true… for a time.

I led her to the labyrinth garden, but I did not want to enter it too deep. Not because we might get lost, but because I did not want Rose to see anymore than was necessary. This was to be just a nighttime walk. I glanced at her discreetly—she looked a little bit awed, but contemplative as well. This might be the first time in days she was able to think a bit more clearly without my bite.

I was also sure that her senses were overwhelmed as well because of the scent of the night-blooming flowers. Primroses, hydrangeas, jasmine… Galina apparently had not forgotten her love for beautiful things. It was all over the estate: the mansion, the interiors, even the garden. She had ordered all the flowers uprooted and be replaced with blooms she could appreciate at night. As it was, I could barely smell her. Rose, whose scent was more intoxicating to me than any bloom.

I was beginning to be agitated. I expected resistance from her about my offer—welcomed it even—but there was no moment in our encounters that she wavered. Even in the throes of her high from the rush I give her. It was always a no. Her body accepted me, but her mind fought.

There was almost no time left. I was sure of it. I did not want this to reach a point where I would have to…force her.

But that moment was fast approaching.

"I'm tired." Rose said, stopping in her tracks. I could hear the weariness in her tone. I thought about how short a time we had been walking—not long.

I help her sit down, but after a while she laid back on the grass. Her hair fanned among the blades, its darkness contrasting with the bright green. I loved her hair the moment I first touched it. Now, I was obsessed with it. But everything about her possessed me.

I lay back on the ground as well.

"This is amazing." She breathed. I looked at her face. Rose was entranced by the clear night.

I faced the sky. The stars have disappeared long ago for me.

"What's it like for you?" she asked after a pause.

"Hmm?"

"There's enough light that I can see pretty clearly, but it's still dim compared to day." She mused. "Your eyes are better than mine. What do you see?"

No stars… but she was already here.

"For me, it's as bright as day." I said instead. "It could be like that for you too."

She did not reply immediately. I saw her lift her arm to the sky, her fingers spread out, as if tracing the twinkling lights that I couldn't see anymore. Then she dropped her hand.

"I don't know. I kind of like the darkness."

"Only because you don't know any better." I replied.

I heard her little exasperated sigh. "So you keep telling me."

She wasn't the only one getting exasperated in out situation. I turned to her and reached out for the strands of hair spilled across her face.

"Rose, this driving me crazy. I'm tired of waiting. I want us to be together." I saw my reflection in her eyes. She needed to see this clearly now. I tugged at her chin, my voice tight. "Don't you like this? What we have? It could be even better."

Pause.

"Why?" she asked softly.

I was thrown off by her question.

"Why what?" I asked.

"Why do you want me?" she said. She looked as confused as I was. I saw that as an effect of the blood-loss and the bites.

"Why wouldn't I want you?" I held her eyes with my own as I said it. This… her… wasn't even rational, it wasn't logical, it wasn't even safe. I was putting my reputation and status on the line here. I could have turned her any moment now. And there is nothing, nothing, _nothing_ that she could do against it. But I did not want her to suffer like I did. It was still in my power to prevent it, but that would not last.

Longing seized me. I want her. I need her like I needed blood to survive in this life. Galina gave me direction, but Rose would give me purpose. I want to do so much more… and I wanted her by my side.

She looked at me steadily too. I was almost disarmed—as if she did not find my answer sufficient. I considered elaborating more when I hear footsteps approaching. Noisy, commanding, footsteps. Didn't even bother with stealth. But why would she? This was all hers.

I lightly sprang to my feet, just as Galina approached us. I hid my reaction—her face was nowhere near pleasant. I heard Rose's heart sped up when she realized who the person was, but she did not move from the ground.

Galina's eyes lingered on her then on my face. There was almost an unbelieving expression on hers. But it was nowhere near fond.

I bowed slightly in acknowledgment and respect. She was not appeased.

"You are becoming a fast expert in testing my limits, Dimitri." She said in Russian. "Why do I see her outside the mansion?"

I answered steadily. "Forgive my impertinence. But as you can see, I have everything in control."

"The only one who should be in control here is me." her voice whipped. "And as I can perfectly remember, I told you not to let her out of the room."

"I only wanted to bring her out to the garden. Nothing more." I said.

"How romantic." She taunted. "But forgive me, dear student. I don't see you making progress with her."

I did not speak.

She smiled, sensing my show of submission. "Yes, she is drugged. But if she were herself, you would be fighting with her right now. And if you were any wiser about this, you should just awaken her if that is your intention."

"I ask a few days more of your patience." I said.

She tilted her head. "Nathan told me about your… conversation a while ago."

I nodded. So the fool can still speak after what I did to his face.

"Nathan thinks I should just give your dhampir to him as dinner."

I waited.

Her eyes flashed. "I am this close to relenting."

I repeated my earlier arguments with confidence. "I told you, she would be a huge asset to your army. Her loyalty shall be yours as is mine is."

She looked at Rose as she spoke now. "Does she know who I am?"

"This is the first time she saw you" I said.

Another taunting half-smile. "Let's make sure."

I relented to show my further submission—but I was getting angry. No one had Rose's life but me.

Rose let me help her get up. She could hardly stand quickly now. I spoke to her in a low tone.

"Rose, this is Galina. She's the one who has been kind enough to let you stay."

She nodded slightly and turned to Galina. "_Spasibo_." She said timidly.

Galina stared at her, dislike etched in her features.

"Is she really worth all this effort, Dimitri? I will not interfere if you want to keep her as your bloodwhore until you finally decide to drain her, but this… situation is becoming most taxing." I saw her fingers twitch with the effort to contain her anger.

I knew this because I was doing the same.

"The others are already speaking about my lenience to you." she continued. "And the only reason I've let you this far is because I am holding on to your word that she would be strong."

"She will be very strong." I replied. "You've seen what she did with Marlen. I am confident that I will be able to persuade her in a couple more days."

"Then strengthen that confidence, Dimitri, because unlike you, I am not prepared to see her on my estate as a dhampir any longer."

I nodded.

She prepared to turn around. "Decide quickly, Dimitri. Awaken her or kill her. I do not care. But make a choice soon. Your favor with me is fast disappearing."

There was the first, serious warning. The sands of time had now started to fall for Rose's life.

"I understand. Of course."

She hissed. "You don't, Dimitri. Because if you do, that dhampir would not be out here, and she would already be awakened. Or dead."

Galina spun around and left.

I stared hard at the direction she disappeared to, and waited until I was sure she was a distance away.

"Come on. We should get back." I told her.

I led her out the maze and it was a long time before she spoke again.

"What did she say?"

It did not occur to me to sugarcoat the facts. "She doesn't like you're still here. She wants me to awaken you or kill you."

"Oh." Her voice was almost dead, as if I told her something banal as the state of the weather. "Um. What are you going to do?"

I calculated the situation. It was grim. In fact, I am not inclined to believe that we even have three days. Abe Mazur was actively looking for her daughter. And my patience was wearing thin. Very thin. Gossamer about to break.

"I'll wait a little longer." I finally said. "And then… I will make the choice for you."

Her heartbeat jumped but she did not ask the obvious. Instead she asked something else.

"How long?"

"Not long, Roza. You need to choose. And make the right choice."

"Which is?"

I gestured around us. "All of this, a life together."

She fell silent again. I took this as a good sign. She was now thinking…rather than just pushing away the options I had mercifully offered her. Rose's face was turned away from me… her eyes looking beyond the maze. She frowned a little and turned back to me.

"And what then? Then I work for Galina too?"

"For a while." I allowed.

We were now in front of the house. She stopped and looked at my eyes. "How long is a while?" she pressed.

I locked her gaze with mine, letting my anger at Galina course in them. A wave of fear passed on Rose's face. But I couldn't care—she'll be used to it soon enough.

"Until we kill her, Rose. Until we kill her and take all of this for ourselves."

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A/N:**

**The LD girls are having a vacation for the weekend so I'm really looking forward to that :)**

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	6. Five

**A/N: **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and faves. At this point, I think I'd like to remind the reader that there are some scenes of sensuality and violence that can be read. In my humble judgment, I still think it's under T rating, but I'm giving the warning just in case :) **

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******Sorry if I took so long in updating. I had no internet connection and it took forever to fix. But here's the next part :)**  


_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**FIVE**

I had her back in the room without any further interruptions from Marlen or Nathan. A wise move from them, because I was stretched taut. I wasn't generous to let anyone walk away from me unscathed if either of them appeared in front of my sight.

Rose was oddly quiet beside me, her face was deep in thought. I did not like this at all. No doubt that the effects of the bite have vanished by now. I see traces of herself coming back—the bold and cunning Rose was emerging again, inch by inch. And while I adore her strength and her tenacity, I did not want those traits be used against me. Not while she was stubborn against me awakening her.

I held her on the bed. Rose pulled her body closer to mine, and then I caught her mouth with a hard kiss. I wanted her to be mine forever; didn't she feel the same way? How do I tell her that I _needed_ this? When Rose was in my arms, she responded with as much fervor as she had shown me that day in the cabin. I knew she had no experience with any other man than me, but the way her hands raked my hair and pull me closer to her face had no trace of hesitation. I brushed my hand from her calves to her thighs and pushed the dress out of the way so I could feel her skin beneath it. And then I hitched her leg around my hip, making her dress run up higher. I could feel her breath coming in little moans and her blood racing frantically in her veins.

Her fingers deftly unbuttoned my shirt and opened it for her hands to explore my chest and abdomen. I left her mouth so my tongue can run the length of her neck, the curve of her shoulders—I dragged the straps of her dress further down her arms. The warmth was addicting to the coldness I always feel. She lit me like spilt oil.

She wanted this—her whole body was practically screaming for me to take her. And how I wanted her. I wanted us to burn together. My other hand trailed her flat and smooth stomach, her delicate navel, and still downwards—

_No. Not until she is awakened._

I pulled away from her, so abruptly that Rose was disoriented for a few moments. She stared at me dazedly… and then realized that I was stopping this.

"No. Not yet. Not until you're awakened." I said echoing my thoughts, and I could feel the hard frustration in my voice.

It matched the frustration in her eyes. "Why? Why does it matter? Is there…" she tried to even out her pounding breaths. "…is there a reason we can't?"

I almost smiled at her. She had just seduced me like a worldly woman moments ago, and now she spoke to me like a shy, hesitant girl.

I bent my head near her ear and kissed the skin beneath it before answering. "No…but it'll be so much better if you're awakened. Let me do it…" I struggled to maintain my composure but the truth was that I was so close to taking her—even if she had not wanted me to. "Let me do it… and we can do anything we want…"

"No…" Rose's voice broke. "I'm… I'm too scared."

I knew she was—I could understand that, if that were the only reason. I propped myself up so our faces met. "Rose, do you think I'd do anything that would hurt you?"

My mind instantly replayed my conversation with Galina earlier. _Awaken her or destroy her_. _Make the choice soon_. Our eyes held up each other. I wondered if Rose thought about that now.

She instead said a different thing. "The bite… the turning would hurt."

I shook my head slightly. "I told you: It'll be just like what we've already done. You'll enjoy it. It won't hurt, I swear it." There was pain, but nothing Rose couldn't endure. She would forget the pain once she was with me.

She looked away, breaking our gaze. It told me that she did not believe me. Slow anger was building up inside me—one I have been ignoring every moment she would reject me.

"I don't know." She finally said.

_Damn it._

I sat up. My hands were flexing involuntarily. I found out I had this habit whenever I wanted to hit something badly. Rose was the only one in the room and I couldn't let that happen.

Or is it? Would hurting her finally let her see some sense? I did not want her to be scared of me, but terror was an efficient tool—one I was now skilled at.

"Galina's patience is running out." Rose looked back at the tone of my voice. I was barely holding on to my anger. "So is mine."

She winced. "You said we still have time… I just need to think more…"

My eyes narrowed at her—it was starting to sound like an excuse. Even as a dhampir, I hated being lied to. Rose better not be lying to me now.

"I have to go. I need to deal with some things." I said, not taking care to be gentle with her anymore.

Her lips trembled. "I'm sorry."

I just stared at her, saying nothing. If I opened my mouth, I might hurt her. I was starting to think that letting her by without the rush of the bite was foolish and sentimental. Why do I need her to think for herself? I could do whatever I wanted with her.

Swiftly, I grabbed her to me and sunk my fangs on her neck. Her blood immediately pushed against my tongue, and I momentarily forgot my anger. Her taste abated it.

I pulled out before I could take too much blood from her. I felt a droplet of blood spill in the corner of my mouth. My tongue licked it back.

Rose's face was slack now, languid and dazed. I didn't know which appealed to me more: the strong, defiant one, or this… willing and pliant to me. If only Rose was this manageable then I wouldn't have to worry about Nathan or Galina harming her. Some of my anger came back again.

Rose tried to reach for me as I helped her lay on the couch. She was smiling lazily—so seductively that I was truly tempted to rip all of her clothes out—but I stayed away from her grasp. There are other businesses I have to attend now.

I walked to the door. Before I went out, I looked at Rose again. She now looked a bit sad with me leaving her. I want her to feel it. I want her to feel the loss and crave for it and beg for me—

"I'll see you later." Her face frowned at my words. "Remember I want you—and I would never let anything bad happen to you. I'll protect you. But…. I can't wait any longer."

She showed no change of reaction with my words. I didn't know if she could understand me with the high I made, but I had no patience left with her to make sure of it.

I left Rose and walked in the hallway to find Galina. I must placate her by showing off some good deed. A party of Strigoi from St. Petersberg was coming tonight for Galina's oncoming assault on the Zeklos manor. It was another fact that surprised me—Strigoi able to work together even separated by long distances. Although Galina's leadership was the exception and not the rule, it was still remarkable. If the Moroi and their guardians had any inkling of this, they would be astounded—and truly terrorized. As it was, they had no idea how slowly the Strigoi is rising in their midst. They were still stuck in the decrepit notion that Strigoi were savage creatures who had no higher mental faculties rather than the need to destroy.

It was the primal instinct in us, of course. But it was possible to repress it momentarily and think about other matters of consequence.

I instructed Inna to check upon Rose and give her what she wanted. She nodded slowly and told me very timidly that Galina wanted me to meet the Strigoi that were coming in the estate shortly. I instantly recognized the order for what it was: a demotion of what she thought of me. Ordinarily, it was supposed to be some insignificant minion of hers to do this job. But she wanted me to do it.

Inna sensed the fury from me and scampered away from the hall. Good for her, because I wanted to smash a body through the wall. A few seconds more and it could have been her. A part of my mind told me this submission of mine was needed for my long-term plans, but it did not make it any less infuriating.

I walked to the main hall. Sure enough, Marlen was not there. I was to welcome them in Galina's abode. Like some servant.

I was seething, but I reined it in. Now was not the time to crumble. There was time to destroy Galina, when I have secured Rose's decision to join me. I will play Galina's game until it I don't have to anymore.

A sleek, black car arrived on the long driveway just as I yanked the huge ornate doors open. Four Strigoi, three male, one female emerged from the vehicle. I only recognized the woman: Nadiya, one of Galina's formidable strategists. Although she was a capable fighter, she was a Moroi in her former life and her physical capabilities were still no match for someone like me. But she had her uses. Her tactics have always been a big part of our triumphs over Moroi.

The other Strigoi were newly-awakened… I can sense it from their movements. Their posture grew defensive when they saw me walking to them. But Nadiya had a knowing gleam in her eye.

"Belikov." She said silkily. "My, my. To whom do I owe this pleasure? I never expected Galina's favorite to greet us."

I felt the eyes of the other two Strigoi snap to my face as Nadiya mentioned my name. I stared them down.

"Jared and Daniel." Nadiya gestured to them lazily. "They're new. Awakened near Novgorod and are in need of guidance."

I moved my eyes to her again. "Don't feel special on my account." I replied curtly, as if she did not utter anything. I saw the two scowl darkly at me but wisely kept quiet.

She raised her eyebrows. "Why so hostile, Dimitri? You were much more pleasant when you had first awakened." She smiled more widely, showing her fangs. "So much more pleasurable. Don't you remember?"

"Very well, Nadiya." I replied curtly.

It was a mistake to get involved with her. Although it was nothing more than release for both of us, I rather thought Nadiya enjoyed it too well. There was a time I did take pleasure from her, but it was when I had no control over my wants. It was also those days when I had tried to get away from Rose. Nadiya was a willing substitute, although she was not aware. She wanted me, I wanted her as a replacement for Rose's body. Nadiya's long, thick, raven hair also helped.

But it did not hold pleasure for me anymore. Not when I had the real one upstairs.

She smiled at me but looked back on her two companions. "I will meet you inside the mansion. Leave us." She said impetuously.

The two looked very resentful being talked to that way—it was an instinct—but Nadiya can break their necks off if they so much as irritated her. I've seen her do it. Twice.

They stalked off to the direction of the mansion. Leaving us alone.

She looked at me with a calculating expression. "We might be staying for a bit. Quite a series of operations Galina is working on." She smiled invitingly again. "Want to relive the pleasantry?"

My expression did not even change. "No. I would be busy."

"Ah. I know what this is about."

I said nothing.

"I heard you were keeping some blood whore plaything upstairs." I can tell she was very amused. "I know how… _insatiable_ you are, but you? I never thought you were the one to have such tendencies."

"Do you know why I did not want to relive the pleasantries? It's because you can't keep your pretty mouth shut for too long." I replied.

Nadiya laughed coldly, clearly enjoying herself. "And do you know why you put up with me?"

She moved closer to me and snaked her arms around my neck. She lifted her lips to my ear and whispered.

"Because I know what you're planning with Galina, and you know you need allies for your little coup."

I almost smiled. She certainly had many uses.

Her one finger idly traced the center of my chest. "I can put up with the bloodwhore. Just be tired of her and eat her already before I lose my patience."

I shoved her away. "She's not a bloodwhore."

Nadiya stared at me with disbelief. "You plan to awaken her?"

"As you said, we need stronger allies." And it was all she needed to know about Rose.

"So is she just an ally?" her tone was skeptical… and resentful.

I started to go back to the mansion. There was a time and place for her to know if it was needed. Right now, I was done talking to her.

I turned my back on her and headed to the door. "We should go inside, Galina is waiting."

We proceeded to the east wing of the mansion, to an elevator that was cleverly hidden within the old world glamour of the interiors. It would take us to the underground level, where the newly-awakened Strigoi were kept… and tamed. There were many who could not restrain themselves from fighting or killing each other on pure instinct alone. Galina kept them underground where they can be contained. Within a few days, most of them listen to reason, but some do not.

And they die.

Nadiya spoke the moment we entered the steel doors. "I can tell over the phone she is most anxious to inspect her new recruits."

I stared straight ahead of me, contemplating. I had a good idea why Galina was on edge these past days. Her warning in the maze was enough to tell me the fuse was short. I didn't know if Rose had enough time left.

"Galina is never anxious." I replied as the elevator doors opened, revealing more steel-covered walls and harsh fluorescent lights, a complete turnaround from the lazy luxury upstairs. Galina was not keen on having her wallpaper and furniture ripped to pieces and splattered with carcasses of Strigoi fighting. The irony was all very amusing.

Nadiya smirked at me as she watched me punch the electronic combination to the holding area. "I managed to keep them from killing each other for the entire journey. I think I deserve a reward."

"Tell that to Galina."

Her fingertips trailed my hand and pulled them slowly down the length of my arm. She moved her face closer to mine.

"Don't you feel particularly impressed with me, Belikov?" she purred.

The light turned green. I stared at her fingers resting on my arm. Then I looked straight to her eyes. "I don't feel anything."

A wave of fear passed her face, and then it was gone as quickly as it came, to be replaced by a mocking smile. She feared me, but she knew I was tolerant of her. As long as she did not annoy me too much.

Before I was able to push the door, my hearing already registered sounds of snarling and growling from the inside. Jeers and hisses of Strigoi egging on each other. We were not made to exist alongside one another—the instinct to fight and destroy each other was always in the foremost.

Nadiya shrugged besides me. "I promised Galina not to let the kill each other on the way here. But _here_," her eyes gleamed with malice, "…is a different story. All yours, Dimka."

That was fine. I needed something to mutilate anyway. I flexed my fingers. "Am I allowed to trim the excesses?"

"As much as that prospect is incredibly tempting, no one will be useful when you're through with them." Nadiya replied lazily. "And then my efforts will be for nothing."

I pushed back the heavy door. The cacophony of noises barraged my senses. There were about twenty Strigoi in the holding area, and half of them were fighting with each other, growling and snapping their fangs. The others were around them in a loose circle, taunting and jeering the others to destroy the other. The scent of newly spilt blood was unmistakable.

Nadiya made an exasperated noise. This was not an unfamiliar scene, but this is also the reason why I had advised Galina not to put them into packs until they were taught to control their urges.

At the back of my mind, I knew that she deliberately put them in this situation just to irritate me.

"Enough." I said.

My voice was not loud, but it was clear and cold as ice. All of the Strigoi turned their attention towards me. And they were not at all friendly.

I wasn't in the mood for coddling.

One of the Strigoi who I had seen earlier grappling with a smaller framed body strode up to me, his pale face alight with menace. He had blond hair and a muscular, bulky body—clearly a well-trained Guardian about a few years older then I was. For some reason, he immediately irritated me. I didn't try to fight it.

He cracked his knuckles. "And who are you supposed to be? Are you here to order us around?"

There was no trace of apprehension in his tone. He wanted trouble, this one. I had noticed him earlier initiating the fights with the others.

"You are here because you will work for Galina. As you have already been told." I replied, meeting his eyes.

"So where is she?" he sneered. "Why don't you have her stand in front of us?"

"She will meet you soon." I flexed my fingers involuntarily, but my gaze was steady on him. "Galina, however, will not appreciate her new recruits acting like mindless rabid dogs in a cage."

Several of them hissed and growled at my words. He glowered at me. "We did not come all the way here for some boy to be ordering us around."

Nadiya gave a twisted smile. "Careful, Nestor, he has a temper."

"So who the fuck is he anyway?" Swiftly, he grabbed the neck of my shirt with his fist. "I bet I can crush your bones in a snap, pretty boy."

He never knew what hit him. One moment we were staring at each other, and then the next second I had him on the ground, his arm bent on an awkward angle under the grip of my hands. He struggled furiously. The others were too stunned to move.

I grabbed his hair so that he would face the others. "You will always be too slow, too predictable and too stupid for me. Remember that."

I snapped his right arm into half with one piercing crunch. He howled in pain and writhed on the ground. The break will heal in a few moments, but that did not mean he would not feel the pain.

It became deadly quiet then inside the room. I glanced at their faces; some were wary, but most of them had a begrudging deference in their eyes. It wasn't easy to break a Strigoi's arm. Nadiya was smirking again.

"I am Dimitri Belikov, Galina's second-in-command." I said. I caught their looks with one another. "You have been brought here because you have been awakened. But you were awakened with a purpose.

"Moroi see Strigoi as savage, mindless creatures with no purpose but to be feared and destroyed. Yes, we are to be feared. But we are the ones to destroy them. Their place is underneath us. And with Galina, you are to be assured of a place in a new world that we are about to create."

Several of them stood up from the floor, looking more interested to listen. That was good. I needed to let them see what was in it for them. That was the only way it can work. I wanted Rose because I cannot be without her presence beside me. I worked for Galina so I can be in a position to eliminate her when the right time comes. I needed, and I would get it. It was nature.

It was basically how Galina had convinced me to work for her.

"But this is only possible if you put aside your urge to kill. It is necessary to work with each other to achieve a higher aim. But do not be anxious, because you will not be deprived of things to destroy, of people to kill. Only this time, there would be an end befitting of us. Not because we are puppets of Moroi."

Never again will I be forced to choose between what I wanted and what was required because of a Moroi. No one can dictate my actions ever again. This is the freedom I have acquired from my awakening.

"You were chosen because you are a dhampir… and more than that, a Guardian. Enslaved by Moroi to protect their weak selves, but no longer."

I remembered Rose's face when I refused her because I was afraid that I would put her life first before a Moroi.

_No longer._

It was still quiet; they were all deep in thought with my words. Undoubtedly, they were beginning to see what this life could offer them. And more.

Nestor was now able to stand up. But he had now an almost appreciative gaze on me—still laced with vitriol, of course. "Dimitri Belikov. So, it is true that you have joined the ranks of the damned."

I allowed him a brief gaze as I turned away to leave… but I did not respond to the obvious. We were all damned.

"Only a few minutes with them and you already have them wrapped around your little finger." Nadiya said as we went back to the elevators again and up to the mansion. "Galina will not be pleased."

I don't live to please anyone. Only myself.

My silence answered her.

Galina had us reconvened in the library not long after. She sat on the high-backed gilded chair, and we were to stand in front of her as she spoke. She wasted no opportunity to show who was in charge. There were four others in the room. Galina called for the leaders of each Strigoi plank in the area—they were carefully chosen because of their old associations with her. I was not her only student who was awakened, the others were either old colleagues or friends of hers.

Friends. That word was a mockery. It had no meaning now.

On the table were black suitcases of jewels and other precious loot, taken from the various parts of the city, and from countless other dead bodies, most likely. I reached for one that caught my eye: an opal bracelet. It would look good with Rose's skin. It sparkled with a million colors and there was a part of me that wanted to go to Rose's room and—

I caught Nadiya staring at me with thinly concealed disgust. She knew why I was looking at the bracelet. Not that I cared what she thought.

Something was not right, but I had no time to dwell on these thoughts, because Galina immediately barked for details regarding our impending attack to slay Moroi in the Zeklos manor.

Nadiya stood in front of her as she reported the developments. The humans were ready to disarm the wards of the mansion, alongside the blueprint of the estate. But Galina hissed disapproval when she learned it was not complete as the humans claimed it to be.

"I had it counter-checked with my other sources inside the Zeklos household." Nadiya continued calmly. "The humans were not entirely truthful with the plans, or were incompetent to get the complete blueprint of the estate."

The Zeklos manor. When Ivan died, I told myself I would never set foot inside that house again. A self-exile, in a way. That was why when the opening in St. Vladimir's came up, I grabbed it, eager to be away from the things that would remind me of my failure.

Now it seems, I would have a chance to redeem myself.

"It does not matter. I know that house very well."

Nadiya looked at me, obviously not expecting me to speak. But Galina was regarding me with amused eyes, malice dancing on her lips.

"I almost thought you would never volunteer that information."

I returned her gaze steadily. "Why wouldn't I?"

Her twisted smile grew wider. "I could almost believe you've gone soft, Dimitri."

She was taunting me, but no one in the room laughed. I knew what she was getting at: Rose was still a dhampir, and it showed weakness in my part in her eyes. My anger was rising again.

"I will lead the attack, if you will let me." I said, my eyes hardening.

She tilted her head, studying me. "You know very well I never send my lieutenant in our recruiting operations."

"But you also know things move quicker if I am around. And my knowledge of that estate would make things… easier."

The others rumbled in approval. Galina leaned back, obviously pleased now. So easy to manipulate her. "That is also true. Very well."

She stood up. "The plans will proceed tomorrow night as soon as the humans break the wards. I want the very best Guardians taken alive. The rest perishes."

"Understood."

Galina turned to the others in the room. "You might have noticed that my student here is keeping a pet in my mansion. She is not to be touched. I do not want Dimitri destroying any one in my army needlessly."

I felt them look at me, but I looked straight into nothingness.

"That goes for you as well, Dimitri." She said. I snapped my eyes back to her. "Repeat the pettiness you showed Nathan and you are to leave the estate and never come back. Do you understand?"

I almost smiled. It was a more favorable reaction than attacking her out of sheer spite. "Perfectly."

She spoke again to the others in the room. "Do not worry, she is not going to be here any longer. Within two days she would be one of us."

_Two days._

"…Or she would be drained dry and killed. Isn't that right, Dimitri?" she asked, a challenge in her voice to defy her.

My fists curled inside my pocket. This was not the time and place to lose my façade of control.

"Of course." I replied curtly.

Galina stared at me a little longer, and for a moment I was sure she had seen the desire in my eyes to destroy her. But she proceeded to other things, and I was able to exit the library with Galina in one piece.

Two days. Forty-eight hours to convince her to an awakening when she had not even showed a crack in her will yet.

I sensed Nadiya following behind me.

"She's not very happy with you."

"She had been too lenient as it is."

Like I have been with Rose.

Nadiya darted in front of me, halting me in my tracks. She narrowed her eyes. "You are risking far too much for that girl."

Too much for Rose. No, not even close. But she had a point—this was all too much becoming a risk. I should have never let this go on for as long as it did, but I thought it was altogether necessary to make Rose more amenable to me when she is awakened. I did not want her despising me as I despised Nathan as being the one for bringing me to this life.

Nadiya shook her head when I did not reply. She looked around. "Where is Nathan? Why isn't he leering at me like he always does?"

A crash sounded upstairs. It was not loud, but it was as if someone hit me awake. My mind had finally processed what was wrong. Nathan was not in the library because….

I sped as fast as I could, leaving Nadiya behind. My insides swelled with fury I had not let myself feel for a long while now.

_Rose!_

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A/N: Press that review button and let it rip.**


	7. Six

**A/N: Thank you as always for the reviews, faves and alerts. :) I find it lovely that people still find Dimitri endearing and badass even if he's not very nice here.**

**Thanks to ohayou/zmeyette for her badass beta skillz.**

******There is some violence in this chapter, but all still well under T rating (I hope)**  


_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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SIX

I couldn't get to the locks of the double doors fast enough. I wanted to rip the electronic pad from the wall because it wouldn't open as fast as I wanted it to. Nathan was in there—with a weakened Rose. I did not miss how Nathan looked at her… it was not only hate but lust for her as well. I would not put it past him to harm her in the most sadistic way he could think of, just to spite me.

If anything should happen to her…

I kicked the second door open. The door immediately hit Rose—I didn't realize she was standing next to it. Her hair was in a disarray, her clothes torn. But what caught my attention was her face. Angry red marks were imprinted on her cheek, like someone hit her.

I turned my stare to Inna, who was trembling uncontrollably when I glowered at her. But it wasn't even at her whom I wanted to damage. My fists were itching to dig themselves into Nathan's chest and rip his miserable heart out. In fact, my legs were striding up to him before I even had the chance to process what I was doing. There was nothing more I wanted to see than his fountain of blood originating from his broken body when I was through with him—

He looked at me smugly. "Don't. You know what Galina said. Touch me, and you're out of here."

Was that supposed to deter me? I flicked my hand to shove Inna out of the way—pathetic human—to stand nearer to Nathan. Within the reach of my arm. "it'll be worth facing her wrath, particularly when I tell you attacked first. Rose certainly bears the marks of it."

His smile grew wider. "You wouldn't. She'll tell the truth."

Pathetic fool. Hadn't he realized that I've already thought about this? "You really think Galina will believe a human? No." I moved infinitesimally closer, my stare boring into his. His face was still wearing the stupid smug look, but we can both hear his heart growing louder. "When I tell her how you attacked me and Rose out of jealousy, she'll let me off. The face that you'll be so easily defeated will be proof of your weakness. I'll slice your head off and get Rose's stake from the vault. With your last breath, you can watch her drive it through your heart."

And I'd derive pleasure from it, every single second that he is in pain.

I could hear Rose hitch her breathing, but I cannot comfort her. She was as responsible in this situation as Nathan and Inna. But I would deal with her later.

I waited for Nathan to reply, but he didn't. He couldn't look away from my stare. I smirked at him, enjoying his fear. "Twice. _Twice_ I've let you go." It made me sick to even think about it. "Next time, next time, you're gone."

We stared at each other for a long while. I heard Rose murmuring to Inna if she was okay, but Inna shot her a look of undisguised hate and moved away. I have to let Rose kill her herself when she awakens for the servant girl's insolence.

Nathan stepped backwards slowly, careful not to take his eyes off me. It was the only smart move he had done. "No. Twice I've let her live. Next time she's gone." He slid his eyes to her briefly before resting on mine again. "I'm the one in control here, not you."

They left, closing the doors behind them with a loud crash. The sound stung the sudden silence between us. I looked at Rose to see how much damage she had sustained when I realized she was crying.

This made me angrier more than anything. So weak. I hate seeing her so helpless, so weak. This was not Rose. I hated it.

"This is your fault!" I snapped at her.

She visibly winced at the ferocity of my voice, clearly shocked. "But he… he attacked me—"

"Yes." I hissed at her. "And Inna. A human! You let a human attack you. You are weak. You are incapable of defending yourself—all because you refuse to be awakened!"

I jerked her arm to pull her to her feet, barely registering the terror in her face. I could not care about it—not now. I did not want to be gentle at her.

"If you had just been killed, it would have been your own fault." I snarled. . She almost died. If she was destroyed I couldn't even think it—

I bellowed at her, gripping her wrists, not caring if I hurt her—I _wanted_ to hurt her, if that was what it would take to keep her. "You have the chance for immortality, for incredible strength! And you're too blind and stubborn to see it."

Rose choked back her sobs, smudging whatever she had put on her eyes. She became unnaturally still, but her heartbeat was frantically pounding in her chest—undoubtedly of fear because of me. I tried to find some sense of rationality to hold on to—to will myself to _calm_ down. I remembered all my long-term plans, the future with her… no, I cannot let them go just because of my anger. Now was not the time. Not yet, Dimitri.

I loosened my hold on her, remembering that she was hurt. Had she broken anything? I was about to ask her, but she suddenly spoke. "I don't think I'd be stronger than Nathan, even if I was turn—awakened."

Gingerly, I stroked her soft hair, untangling the mess it created. But it wasn't enough to appease me. I focused on answering her question instead. "Perhaps not initially, but your strength of body and will carries over with the change." I pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "He's not that much older than either of us—not enough to make a noticeable difference, which is why he keeps backing down when we fight."

She looked at me directly for the first time. "Why do you keep backing down?"

I was stilled, and I gripped her wrist tighter again. Was she questioning my ability to protect her? Haven't I showed her what I was capable of? What I was lowering myself to because of her?

"Because he's right about one thing. Killing him would bring Galina's wrath down on us." I answered icily. "And that's something I can't afford." Yet.

Her sobs began to go away. "You said that you…" she swallowed noisily. "—that we…. Had to kill her."

"Yes, and once we do, it'll be easy to seize control of her assets and organization." I replied impatiently.

"What is her organization exactly?"

"All sorts of things. The wealth isn't bought without effort." I said tonelessly, not wanting to make her ask more questions about it. The Russian government could not solve the problems of drugs, illegal human trafficking and corruption because of one reason: Galina controls most of it.

She caught her breath. "Efforts that's illegal and hurts humans?"

Why does she want to know this now? It was not helping the purpose of the conversation. "Does it matter?"

Rose paused, well knowing the answer already. She came up with another one. "But Galina used to be your teacher. Can you really kill her?" she was not looking at me, only straight ahead, her shoulders tense. As if waiting for attack. "And I don't mean physically…. I mean, doesn't it bother you?"

I tried to remember how foreign this must be for her, so I could continue trying to be patient. "I told you before. It's all about strength and weakness. Prey and predator. If we can bring her down—and I have no doubts we can—" I notice her wince slightly but I let it pass. "—then she's prey. End of story."

She closed her eyes as if she heard something hurtful. Perhaps to her dhampir mind it was. I let go of her wrist and let her sit in the couch. I followed beside her, never taking my eyes off her face. Not for the first time I wished I could pry open her mind and make it mine.

After a few moments she spoke again. She opened her eyes, but still not looking at me. "Why did Inna attack me? Why did she defend Nathan?"

Ah. I felt myself getting angry again. It was one of the most pathetic stories I had ever heard. "Because she loves him."

Rose gaped at me. "But how…?"

"Who knows? Part of it is that he's promised to awaken her once she's put in time here." Which was usually a lie. We needed humans as spies in the daylight. Galina often employed humans with the agreement that they would be awakened—only to be killed and never to be found again. "That's what most human servants are told."

Rose looked like she didn't get it. "Told?"

"Most are unworthy." I said flatly. "Or more often than not, someone gets hungry and finishes the humans off."

She put her hand to her mouth, as if nauseated. "This is all a mess."

I took her chin so that she would face me. "It doesn't have to be. Time's running out. I've been lenient, Roza." I held her eyes with mine. Hers widened from whatever she saw in them. "Far too lenient than I would be with anyone else."

"Why?" she whispered. There was desperation in her voice I had not heard before. "Why have you done it?"

I let her go. How do I tell her of this _need_ I felt? My possession of her was the only thing I can comprehend, the only thing I sought. I needed blood to survive. I needed to kill, to destroy to satisfy me. But none of these can compare to what Rose can do to me.

"Because I know how you think." I finally said. "And I know awakening you of your own free will would make you a more important ally. You're independent and strong-minded—that's what makes you valuable."

"An ally, huh." She closed her eyes again, slumping to the couch. Hurt and disappointment tinged her tone.

I became frustrated—wasn't that what she wanted to hear? What part of that doesn't she understand? I leaned closer to her, so she had nowhere to look but me. Rose opened her eyes and they were sad. I hated to see her like that.

"Didn't I tell you once I'd always be there for you? I'm here. I'll protect you." I brushed a lock of her unruly hair away from her forehead. "We're going to be together. We're meant to be together. _You know this_."

She did not respond, only her eyes that told me it wasn't enough. What I was offering wasn't enough. I was losing my mind on how to convince her that this was the only way for her now. How will I let her feel what I felt at this instant? Confusion, rage, frustration, desire…

I pressed my lips to hers, pulling her against my body. She went willingly, pliant in my arms, her hands wrapping around my neck, tracing my jaw, then tangling her fingers to my hair.

She wanted me. Whatever hesitations she has, she certainly did not show it when she was with me like this. That gave me fuel to go on and push her until she relented. Because she will, eventually. I never let go of what was mine. Rose was mine: her mind, her body, and soon, her soul.

I released her lips to look at her face. She looked back at me steadily. I could not notice anything more when she was with me like this. Beautiful. Deadly. Awakening her would give her the knowledge I could never have given her if I was still a dhampir. She would be grateful for that, the moment she understood my offer.

And how would she repay me? Her loyalty as a Strigoi certainly, but right now… what I wanted was a taste of her blood again.

I lowered my face again to brush a soft kiss on her cheeks, her chin, the side of her jaw, then down to her throat. I realized that the wounds I made were still fresh, but there was no way I could stop now. They would heal when she awakens. I opened my mouth to feel her skin on the points of my fangs.

"No." she suddenly spoke up.

I immediately halted—more than stunned surprise than anything else could have made me stop. I thought she was in one of her joking moods when I felt her palms flat on my chest—pushing me away. She never did that. She was not supposed to feel anything but the desire for my bite. Why was she suddenly fighting me?

"What did you say?" I asked, my mouth still very close to her throat.

She cleared her throat. "Um… no. Not this time." seeing perhaps the look in my face, she explained hastily. "I don't feel good… I want it… I want to feel the bite… but I want to rest first, get stronger..."

I did sense it, her weakness. I all but flung it on her face just a while ago. I wanted to make amends for my behavior—she did not have to see that. "Let me awaken you, and you'll be strong again."

She nodded quickly. "I know…. And I'm starting to think—"

Rose looked away. I was unable to hide my shock…and relief to realize what must have been going on. Why she looked so confused and frantic. She must be…. "Starting to think what?

She looked back at me again. "I'm starting to think that I don't ever want to be weak again."

I was stilled. Finally, some progress.

"Please…" she whispered. "I just want to rest. I need to think a little bit more."

I stared at her eyes, looking for some kind of lie from her. Rose was a bad liar, and I could tell when she was faking it. Yet I couldn't see it from her now—all I saw was the exhaustion and the pleading in her eyes.

More time to think. Should I even give more time for her? I have allowed her more than I could ever have thought to give her. By all rights I should just bite her and end this discussion here and now. What was to stop me?

She was cracking. Her iron will is now marked with a fissure. And when there was a crack, then that is where I will break her. A little bit more. I was patient until this point. I could wait a little longer.

But not too much. There was also Galina's deadline to take into consideration. And Abe Mazur who was actively looking for her whereabouts.

I nodded and got up from the couch. "Rest then. And we'll talk later." I brushed the back of my knuckles on her cheekbones. "But Rose… we only have two days."

"Two days?" she repeated.

"Until Galina's deadline." I informed her. "That's how long she gave us. Then I make the decision for you."

Her face was calm, but her breathing hitched. "You'll awaken me?"

"Yes." I answered calmly now. "It'll be better for all of us if we don't reach that point."

I stood up and brought out the bracelet from Nadiya's loot earlier—I was counting on the pretty trinket to appease Rose. "Oh I brought you this."

"Wow…" she said softly, admiring it and putting it on immediately. I was pleased. "It's… it's gorgeous."

Like you Roza…. I wanted to say, but instead I kissed her forehead very gently. I left her on the couch, my belief intact that I was gaining ground over her. My calculations were according to plan.

Surely. Inevitably.

The looming shadow of the Zeklos mansion fell over us as we stood just outside the perimeter of the wall. Earlier, it was protected by a ward, but the humans have disabled them already. We were only waiting for the wards of the mansion itself to be disarmed.

There were twenty of us, almost as big as the ones who attacked St. Vladimir's before. But the manor wasn't nearly as big as the school, so the others had no fighting chance against a pack of Strigoi this big. Carnage was waiting to happen as soon as we step inside the doors.

"There are three escape corridors underneath each wing of the manor that are not in the blueprint." I pointed to them the directions. "The exits to these corridors are the fountain in the west wing, the statue of St. Therese in the courtyard and the lone gardening shed near that. I have seen all of these with my own eyes." How many times had Ivan and I explored those tunnels? Only assigned Guardians were allowed information—let alone access—to those crucial exits, but Ivan trusted me. "No doubt they shall use them when they realize that they are under attack."

"There would be four Strigoi waiting in each exit, as you have directed." Nadiya said, her voice feverish with the promise of blood.

"Good. The doors and the windows are all enforced glass, but that would only slow us down a little. We shall be making our entrance through the lone glass ceiling." I saw from the corner of my eye that one of our reconnaissance team members emerged from the shadows and said something to Nadiya. "We will end up in the main hall, near their grand staircases that leads to the bedrooms. Inevitably there will be guardians on duty there. Subdue them."

The Strigoi hissed in excitement and approval.

Nadiya spoke to me. "One of ours found out that Alexei Grachev is inside. His Moroi is apparently visiting one of the Zeklos."

Alexei Grachev. Unexpected. The last time I knew of his assignment, he was in Serbia. We went to school together in Siberia, and moved in the same group as Ivan's. He is a very good combatant and one of the most formidable graduates in our school. But he only finished second. There was a time I considered him as a friend.

"It's a bad day for him to come." I said tonelessly.

Nadiya smiled. "Galina will be pleased to acquire another student of hers."

Without a doubt. Alexei will be an excellent addition to our force.

A light flickered in the distance.

"The wards are down." Nadiya said.

I spoke to them again. "Guardians must be left alive but incapacitated. You only kill when it is necessary. Is that understood? But for the rest…" Nadiya gave a twisted smile. "…you can do whatever you want."

Briefly, I looked back to the mansion. I waited for some kind of memory, some wisp of an emotion to tell me that I should feel something about murdering the people I once served whole-heartedly.

Nothing came.

"Then begin."

~0~0~

Screams and blood flooded the house within minutes of us entering the mansion. They had no time to request for back-up, or even counter-attack. Most of the dhampir servants were killed on the spot, the Moroi drained dry first. It was far easier than I thought it would be. They should have known better than to trust humans for their protection.

I walked room to room to look for Alexei myself. He was a dangerous Guardian, and I wouldn't put it past him to slay the younger Strigoi as easily as I would kill a defenseless Moroi.

Someone moved behind me. I whipped around and saw it was a male Guardian, stake gripped in his right hand. How foolish of him to tackle me alone. I easily dodged his attack, delivering a blow to the back of his neck. He staggered back but charged forward at me again. I feinted an attack to the left, grabbing his arm where he gripped the stake. I crushed that arm and slammed him to the ground. I sunk my fangs to his neck until he wasn't able to make the pathetic gurgling sounds.

I wasn't nearly finished when someone spoke my name.

"Dimitri Belikov."

I slowly stood up, wiping the blood from my mouth. I turned around to see Alexei standing a few feet away from me—his clothes bloody and torn, and from the smell of it, bleeding profusely as well.

"Alexei." I acknowledged, kicking the body out of the way.

"That was my lieutenant you just killed." He said, his eyes hardening, but calm. Very calm.

I smirked. "Don't expect me to apologize, old friend."

"I should have known that there was someone special behind this attack. I have never seen so many Strigoi with a single-minded purpose."

"This is only the beginning, I'm afraid."

"They told me you fell in an attack in St. Vladimir's. They said you were dead." He said.

I tilted my head, amused. "And what did you think?"

He gave a hard smile. "I didn't believe them. Someone as good as you can never die that easily. But looking at you know…" he gripped his stake more securely. "I wished they were true, that you are dead."

I took one step forward. "Not all wishes come true, Alexei."

"You attack a Zeklos residence?" he suddenly bellowed at me, pure anger and venom in his voice. "Have you forgotten how good Ivan's family was to you? They valued your loyalty and devotion and now you have them slaughtered like pigs?"

"They valued what they can use from me. There was nothing more." I said softly. "You know this, Alexei. All they want is to save their skins using ours."

He looked at me with such disgust. It wasn't so far from how Rose looked at me when I told her I relished killing my victims. I hated that look. _Hated it_. "What happened to you? You let yourself be turned rather than die? Of all people—"

"There was no choice. It was inevitable." I cut him off, malice overtaking me again. "And I don't regret it Alexei. I am born for this life. When you are awakened, you'll understand why."

"Awakened?" he almost laughed with the disbelief. "Never."

"You will die if you try to fight me. Look around you. All of the Moroi in this household is dead or dying as we speak. Joining them would be a waste of your talents. I am offering you a life a dhampir would never dream of."

"I would much rather die." He growled, throwing his body into a defensive posture. But we both knew it was a futile effort. He had sustained a leg gash from the fight and was not in top shape to fight. And he was going to fight me.

I walked slowly towards him. I flexed my fingers. "Last chance, Alexei."

"I'd be doing this world a favor with my death. And when I meet Ivan Zeklos in the afterlife, I will sadly tell him of what has become of you."

He lunged towards me, and I met him halfway. He swiped the stake at me, getting my shirt. Alexei was fast and deadly even in his injured state. He rammed his fist on the center of my chest, making me buckle down a step. He thought he saw an opening—he repositioned his stake and prepared to drive it to my chest.

But I was only feinting. Galina taught us both and we almost had the same moves. But he was predictable, and I wasn't.

I caught his arm midway through the drive. He battled the strength of his force with mine, fighting to even touch the tip of the stake to my chest. But my other hand found his defenseless neck, and I grabbed it with my palm. I heard his neck snap before I bit him with such force that it almost unhinged the muscle from the bone.

I saw defeat snatch the look of his eyes. But for some reason, he was able to look at me—but I did not know if he could still see. He opened his mouth as if to speak, and more blood came out.

"It was not your fault." he barely choked out. "Ivan's death is not your fault."

And with that, his heart stopped beating, and Alexei was dead.

I abruptly released his neck and dropped his body to the ground. His limbs were now all bent in different angles and his eyes were open, blank, lifeless. More of his blood spread steadily to the carpeted hallway.

Nadiya came a few seconds later, delicately brushing off blood from the corner of her lips. She looked at me, and down at Alexei's corpse.

She sighed. "I was hoping we could keep him."

I paused for a moment, remembering the vehemence in his voice when he refused my offer to spare his life. Now he was dead.

Will the same thing happen to Rose?

"He's weak and unworthy." I turned my back on him. "How many are taken captive?"

"Seven. Three died, including Alexei. But we caught some good ones." She looked back at the body and looked a bit surprised. "You didn't drink his blood."

"No." his last words certainly made me lose my appetite.

She looked as if she wanted to say something, but shrugged instead. "There are still a couple of Moroi left to be brought for Galina. You should take your pick now since Galina isn't very generous of you to share. Come and inspect dinner."

Nadiya left, leaving me with the two of the several people I killed today. Alexei and I were not as close as I was with Ivan, but we shared many years as a student.

But how could I feel sorry for his death? I gave him a choice, but he wanted to die instead. The strong eats the weak. Alive and whole. It was the only thing I understood now.

I left Alexei's body in the hallway, before his blood reaches my shoes.

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A/N: Make my last days in fanfiction count: don't hesitate to leave me your thoughts and press that review button :)  
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	8. Seven

**A/N: Thanks for the alerts, faves and reviews :) I got some quite lovely ones; they make my heart go aflutter. :)**

**And hello new readers! I hope you enjoy reading the rest. We're more than halfway till the end.**

**Thank you to ohayou/Zmeyette for her mad beta skillz. She hates Nadiya with a passion because of this chapter. Hee.**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**SEVEN**

Rose was peacefully sleeping on the bed when I came back to the estate. Galina was pleased with our catch, and it seems I have regained my place with her favor for the time being. Nathan looked sullen the whole time—I barely hid my satisfaction over this. Galina valued me in her organization for a reason.

I approached the bed silently, not wanting to disturb her. My mind briefly wandered to the seven guardians being drained right now, and waiting to be awakened. New pawns. Rose was not going to be like that. I will personally make sure her transition will be as comfortable as it could possibly be. She will not leave my side—even if technically she would work under Galina. I will make her stronger, deadlier than any Strigoi out there. So no one could hurt her ever again. She could break Nathan's neck if he ever touches her again. She'll never feel weak or helpless.

She murmured something in her sleep. What could she be dreaming of? As a Strigoi, there was no sleeping anymore—our bodies didn't need it anymore. But that was alright. My waking hours were much better than I could ever have hoped to be. In my dreams as a dhampir, I had wished Rose and I would be free of the constraints they've bound us with since birth. As a Strigoi, I can now make that happen. And we would be together. Finally.

I sat in the bed, and moved closer to her body. Her fingers twitched and her breathing became shallower…she must be coming awake. I lifted the mass of her hair to reveal the nape of her neck and pressed my lips to her skin softly. I missed the taste of her blood.

She finally opened her eyes. They were heavy with sleep and exhaustion, and for a moment I was worried that Nathan's attack was more serious than I thought. But her face was gentle and soft as her smile. Her fingertips grazed my jawline. "You're back. I missed you."

I twisted my head to kiss her palm and breathe in her scent. "I had things to do."

Her eyes sought my face. Slowly, she pulled her fingers across the corner of my mouth. Probably Alexei's blood.

"So I see." She frowned.

"It's the natural order, Rose." I reminded her patiently, not wanting to be upset with her or myself. I remembered the condition her body must be in. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Except…" she bit her lip and looked away.

Something was troubling her deeply—separate from the situation she was in right now. It could only be because of one reason.

"What?" I asked.

She hesitated for a moment then… "I was in Lissa's head."

I controlled my expression.

"And… I got pushed out." She said.

"Pushed out?"

"Yeah…" she frowned. "I was seeing through her eyes like I usually do, and then some force…" she shook her head. "I don't know, an invisible hand shoved me out. I've never felt anything like it."

"Maybe it's a new spirit ability." I said, thinking of the possibilities—and how it might harm us in the future. The bond will surely break when Rose is turned… I was counting on it.

"Maybe…" she allowed. "Except, I've been watching her regularly, and I've never seen her practice or even consider anything like that."

I pulled her closer to me, feeling the warmth of her body so near with mine. I did not want this conversation that focused on Lissa. It just made it harder for her to let go of her soon-to-be old life. "Being awakened gives you better senses and accessibility to the world. But it doesn't make you omniscient." I played with her hair as I spoke. "I don't know why that happened to you."

"Clearly not omniscient, or else Nathan wouldn't want information about her so badly." Rose said darkly, remembering the attack. She looked up to me with questioning eyes. "Why is that? Why are the Strigoi fixated on killing the royal lines? We know they've—" she shook her head, "—you've been doing it, but why? What does it matter? Isn't a victim a victim—especially when plenty of Strigoi used to be royal Moroi?"

"That requires a complicated answer." But it was all very simple really. I had wondered why I did not consider it as a dhampir. Of course, I was too blinded to see Strigoi as something more than a savage creature. "A large part of hunting Moroi royalty is fear. In your old world, royalty are held above all others. They get the best guardians, the best protection…" Rose didn't argue—she knew I had a point. "If we can still get to them through that, then what does it say? It means that no one is safe. It creates fear, and fear makes people do foolish things. It makes them easier prey."

She closed her eyes. "That's horrible."

There's nothing horrible about it. "Prey or—"

She cut me off impatiently. "Yeah, yeah. I know. Prey or predator."

I let her interference pass. "There's also a benefit of unraveling Moroi leadership. That creates instability too."

"Or maybe they'd be better off with a change of leadership." She said carelessly. I looked at her—something familiar in her voice, the way she spoke reminded me of the times when she argued with me about something she fiercely believed in. I haven't heard that voice in a long while. But before I could dwell on it, she asked another question again.

"What's the rest?"

"The rest…. The rest is prestige." I couldn't hide the pleasure in my voice. "We do it for the glory of it. For the reputation it gives us and the satisfaction of knowing we're responsible for destroying that which others haven't been able to destroy for centuries."

It was the foundation for Galina's organization, why many Strigoi believed and followed her lead when so many others failed. The group she created had the most potential to decimate the Moroi leadership in a way that was never heard of in centuries. However, I didn't elaborate more than that with Rose. She can learn all about it when I awaken her.

Rose didn't ask anymore, either. She seemed deep in thought—but that was improbable. My bite would prevent her from clear thoughts. It was then that my eyes noticed the bedside table where she put all the gifts I gave her ever since she arrived here. It gave me enormous pleasure to be able to have the capacity to give these for her. She must be so happy.

I saw her nazar, the one her mother gave her. For some reason it annoyed me—but I didn't show it. "You still have this." I said, picking it up.

"Yup. Not as pretty as your stuff, though." She looked at it, but there was a far-away look in her eyes.

There was an unfamiliar ring resting amongst the jewels. It was a plain, silver ring, not like the fancy things Rose seems to prefer. "This I haven't seen before." I picked the ring up.

The metal was a little warm, warmer than the normal temperature of metal. Maybe she wears it when I was not around.

"I got it while I was—" she stopped abruptly.

I tore my eyes from the ring and looked at her. "While you were what?"

Rose met my eyes, somehow apologetic… and sad.

"While I was in your hometown. In Baia."

Baia. I have not heard the name of my hometown for so long, it was almost unfamiliar. More than the fact that it fell from Rose's lips.

My fingers twirled the ring around, the warmth seeming to spread from the tips of my fingers and to my hands. It was distracting… but not unpleasant. I glanced at her.

"You were there?"

She nodded slowly. "I thought that's where you'd be. I didn't know that Strigoi did their hunting in cities there." She paused for a while, as if not wanting to continue. She took a deep breath. "I stayed with your family."

My family. Karolina. Sonya. Viktoria. Babushka. Mama. Their faces were sharper in my memory that I ever thought was possible. I haven't thought of them for a long while. The last letter I wanted to give them remained in the desk of my old quarters in St. Vladimir's. Why didn't I send it?

"And?" I prompted her.

"And… they were nice." Rose said. "I liked them. I hung out with Viktoria a lot."

My youngest sister. I was so protective of her before I was assigned to be a guardian for Ivan Zeklos. Karolina was strong and never really needed the protectiveness of an older brother, Sonya was a bit reclusive and shied away from trouble… but Viktoria was delicate, naïve and believed the best in everybody. It was amazing that she and Rose got along well. I rather… liked the thought of it.

.  
"Why wasn't she at school?" I asked. Surely she was still studying at St. Basil's.

"It was Easter." Rose answered.

"Ah right." Of course… I haven't paid much attention to the old holidays my family—no, my old people celebrated. "How was she?"

"Fine." Rose replied. "Karolina's good too, she reminds me of you. She really laid into some dhampir guys who were causing trouble."

I smiled in remembrance. She was still the same. Once she chased off a bunch of girls who were hassling Sonya because of some petty incident in school—I was the last to learn about it, and I was the only man in the family. "I can see Karolina doing that. Did she have her baby yet?"

"Yeah." Rose nodded slowly, never looking away from me. "It was a girl. Zoya."

_Dimka, you should help me pick out a name for the baby, okay? Even though you're far away._ Karolina's words in her last letter came back to me.

Karolina was the closest to me. Perhaps the age gap had something to do with it, but we understood each other: we were the eldest among the siblings and we took it upon ourselves to help Mother in any way we could. It didn't escape me that I left her to deal with my sisters when I had to leave.

"Zoya… Not a bad name." The ring winked in the dim light. I remembered my other sister. "How was Sonya?"

"Okay." She replied. "I didn't see too much of her. She's a little touchy… Viktoria says it's because of the pregnancy."

"Sonya's pregnant too?" I asked, completely surprised by this.

"Oh yeah. Six months, I think."

Must have been an accident. Or a result of Sonya's tendency to fall for someone too easily. Karolina and Sonya had once argued over her choice of boyfriends every night for a week until the guy dumped her for another girl. Sonya was devastated and cried on Karolina's arms like the arguing never happened.

Three days later, Sonya found another man to distract her. Mother and I only sighed at that.

"I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. Her decisions aren't always as wise as Karolina's. Karolina's children were by choice… I'm guessing Sonya's was a surprise."

"Yeah, I kind of got that feeling too." Rose agreed.

"My mother and grandmother?" I prompted, suddenly eager for news about them.

"Er, fine. Both of them." A shadow passed in her eyes, then it was gone. She shook her head. "Your grandmother scared me a little."

I suddenly laughed… Oh babushka. Why scare Roza? She must have found Rose very interesting to play that game with her. "Yes, she does that to people."

"And she pretended not to speak English." Rose scowled, clearly irritated.

"Yes, she does that too." I said, partly to appease her. Babushka was a wise woman, ahead of her time. "Do they all still live together? In that same house?"

The house of my childhood. The wood shingles, the broken fences I tried to mend everyday, the smell of the kitchen that I could sniff blocks away whenever I'd come home…

"Yup." Rose's eyes brightened. "I saw the books you told me about. The pretty ones—but I couldn't read them."

The old books. Yes, yes I remembered them. When so many children of my age wanted comic books and drawings… I was fascinated with stories of truth and justice told by the words.

"That's where I first got into American westerns. " I reminded her.

She smiled mischievously. "Man, I loved making fun of you over those."

"Yes, between that, your stereotypes about Eastern European music, and the whole 'comrade' thing, you had plenty of material." I chided her.

She laughed in response, a little bit embarrassed. "But you brought the cowboy thing on yourself!" she said defensively, "…between the leather duster and—"

"And then you left them and came to Novosibirsk?" I asked.

She nodded, the smile leaving her face. "Yeah, I came with those dhampirs, I was hunting with… those other unpromised ones. I almost didn't though. Your family wanted me to stay." There was the far away look again. "I thought about doing it."

The ring on my hands seemed to be giving off heat, like a gentle flame. Strange. The warmth had now spread to my arms and in this life—it was hard for me to feel this kind of sensation. The only feeling I got was coldness. I brought the ring to the light to examine it, at the same time thinking about Rose and my family.

What if she had stayed? Then we would have never met, and Rose would be free.

Was that what I wanted? I did leave the United States to protect her from me, after all.

I sighed at her. "You probably should have."

"They're good people." Rose murmured.

"They are. You might have been happy there." I said in a low voice. I put the ring away and pushed her hair behind her ear. And then I kissed her. As soft as the tender thoughts I have for my family who are far away from me, and whom I will never see again. Only Rose was here with me.

And she was mine.

The hunger came back. I sought to open her mouth for me, sliding my hand to the nape of her neck to hold the kiss, my other hand sliding idly beneath her shirt. Just like that, I forgot about my family, my earlier regret why I had to meet Rose in that street in Novosibirsk. Because it was done. She was already here, and I have no intentions of letting her go. Not ever again. I couldn't keep myself from taking more, demanding of what I wanted.

And right now, I wanted her blood again. I haven't tasted her since Nathan attacked her.

I broke off the kiss and started to caress her neck with my tongue when she spoke aloud.

"What's it like?"

I spoke languidly, my mouth against her skin, already drunk with her scent. "What's what like?"

"Kissing."

I pulled away from her so I could look on her face. Her question was… unexpected.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You said being awakened enhances all the senses." She explained slowly. "Is kissing different then?"

"Ah." Rose had the most curious mind. It was one of the things that enabled her to catch up with her classmates quickly and became one of the Academy's best novices. And her interest was certainly a good sign. "It is, kind of. My sense of smell is stronger than it used to be, so your scent comes through much more intensely." My hold on her tightened… just talking about it made me— "your sweat, the shampoo in your hair…. It's beyond what you can imagine. Intoxicating." Yes that was the word. I brought my lips to her ear. "And of course, sharper taste and touch make this better."

I kissed her again, biting her lower lip gently. She pushed herself closer to me to deepen the kiss, then she pulled back again. "When we were outside the other night, the flowers were really strong. If they're strong to me, are they overwhelming to you? I mean, do the scents get to be too much?

I considered it. "Yes, it's strong in a way. But over time you learn how to filter the scents and narrow it to that particular scent you are after. Practice makes perfect, Roza."

"Wow." She breathed. "And that night when we were out… I'm guessing you couldn't see the stars right?"

"I don't need to see them." I said. And that was true. "Darkness is a concept that does not exist anymore."

"And you move very fast. Isn't that disconcerting?" she asked again.

"No. It just feels like a part of yourself. No stranger than talking or hunting." In fact, it was one of the best advantages we have over a dhampir guardian. It was the one strength that Nathan had over me in that cave after all.

"I doubt if anyone can outrun you." She mused, her eyes closing and slowly opening again.

"It's still possible. Injury or weakness." I replied. "Guardians are able to slay many of us because some move too clumsily or carelessly. They overestimate guardians because we are supposed to be stronger."

"But you taught me otherwise." She recalled.

"Yes I did. There's always a way Roza, if you wanted it bad enough."

She nodded slowly, bringing her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. "It must be so incredible to feel so….strong." She sighed. "I couldn't wrap my mind around it yet."

Ah finally. Was she seeing the truth now? I haven't seen her so interested in talking about Strigoi before. Usually she dodges the topic or makes fun of it. "It is incredible. And you'll be accustomed to it soon enough." I lightly traced her eyelids, to the bridge of her nose, to the tip. "I would never leave you to deal with the change alone. And I would teach you all that I know. It would be just like before, since you're still my student."

She rubbed her eyes and yawned. I didn't miss the fact she was fighting off the tiredness. "There's so much I didn't know… still don't know…"

"I told you it was amazing." I said, watching her.

"I have more questions… but I'm so tired… I still feel don't feel good…" her words were slurred. "You don't think I have a concussion, do you?"

"No." Nathan and Inna would never have left the room alive. "And once you're awakened, it won't matter anyway."

She stiffened slightly. "But not until you answer the rest of my questions."

Patience. I've waited this long. Don't make her clamp down again.

"Okay, not until then." I acquiesced. "But time is running out, I told you that before."

She closed her eyes. "But it's not the second day yet."

"No… not yet." I agreed.

Her breaths became slow and deep. Her body was weakening faster than I would have liked. Soon, she would face the real danger of stress, exhaustion and—as much as I hated to admit it—blood loss. I laid beside her again, just watching her so quiet and peaceful. Once, she brought me that. during that time we were under Victor's lust charm, that day she kissed me against the wall, that one afternoon in the cabin…. Those were the few moments I knew what peace must have been like.

Now… Rose only stirred hunger, desire and possession inside me. It was unmatched by anything in this world. And if she refuses me…

I quietly stood up and left her on the bed to sleep.

If she refuses me… she and I would both regret it.

I left the room swiftly, before I changed my mind. And it was so easy to. I had given her too much chances already.

In the hallway, a movement caught my eye. Nathan was in the far end of the corridor, a gloating look in his face. Then he was gone, before I could react anything more.

I had no time to ponder over Nathan… there was Rose to think about, and the deadline. Things were moving too slowly.

I reached my quarters, wanting the quiet space to think, when I realized Nadiya was leaning on the wall along the door. I growled—she knew I didn't want let anyone inside.

"Trust me, you'd want the privacy." She said, her face hard.

I opened the door and walked inside, allowing her to follow me. The space was sparse—I had no belongings from my old life. I mainly use these quarters to think and be alone.

Unlike the other rooms in the mansion, I had asked Galina to make my space as isolated as possible—until to the soundproofed walls. She granted me this when I brought her four of the best Guardians in Moscow for her army.

I turned back to Nadiya and she was looking at the stack of books I had in the corner. I acquired them out of habit. There was a smirk playing on Nadiya's lips.

"You have an interesting taste in literature, Dimitri. _Fascinating_."

"I could break your neck for this." I hissed at her. "You better have a good reason for coming here.

She tore her eyes from the books and faced me, her expression a mixture of annoyance and anger. "One of our recruits died in a street in Novosobirsk."

I scoffed. "And what interest do I have in that?"

"One of Ibrahim Mazur's men killed him."

I froze at the name, but controlled my expression.

She was not fooled. "Jared, the other one, was able to escape the guardians." There was steel in Nadiya's eyes, clearly very angry. She was never angry with me, even if I was very hostile with her.

"He told me that Abe Mazur's men were looking for information about Rose Hathaway."

I could not avoid it any longer. The only thing I feared of happening—at least until Rose was awakened—was _this_.

I did not speak for several moments. How should I play this with Nadiya? I know she was on my side, but this information could certainly turn the tables. Should I kill her right now before she goes to Galina?

"I killed Jared." She said flatly. "He would talk."

Now _that_ was more unexpected.

"You didn't have to do that." I said.

"But I already did." It was then that I noticed the thin lance she was always carrying around on her side was bloodied. Strigoi didn't need weapons, but Nadiya had been a Moroi when turned, and needed the extra advantage in strength. And she was an expert swordswoman.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off sharply. "Don't thank me yet. That is not the end of this little mess. Before I was able to kill him, he talked to Nathan first."

A growl escaped my chest. Fuck. So that was the meaning behind his expression a while ago in the corridor.

"You know what would happen if Galina hears about one of the most powerful Moroi in Eastern Europe looking particularly for her estate. For his daughter." She shot me a look of pure venom. "Galina will kill both of you just for the spite. You know she does not want secrets in her organization. Especially from her right-hand."

Yes, I did not doubt for a second Galina's reaction. I did not tell her anything about Rose, more so of her relationship with Ibrahim Mazur. Galina would never have let me keep Rose for this long if she had.

Which meant I could not hold on any longer.

But I promised Rose one more day.

When I did not speak, Nadiya snapped at me. "This is madness, Dimitri! Galina has a strong force, but so does Abe Mazur. This is not the time to clash against him. Our plans will all be for nothing." She banged her fist on the wall. "If you are to awaken her, then do it. _Now_. Or else, Galina will finish her off herself."

"I won't let that happen." I growled, but she had a point. Things were becoming too complicated. And it seems I was getting careless. I was jeopardizing my position in Galina's eyes, while Abe Mazur was looking for his daughter in every corner of Russia.

All because of Rose. The lengths of what I would do to keep her.

Nadiya seemed to calm down. She sat on the leather couch and looked up to me.

"Why did she come here?" she asked in a low voice, uncharacteristic of her.

I paused, thinking if I should answer her. I remembered her killing the Strigoi earlier and decided I could pay her back the favor.

"She wanted to destroy me, to save me."

I remembered Rose's fierce eyes when she made me remember our conversation in that tight, cramped van to Missoula.

"She is the reason why you wanted to go back here in Russia, isn't it? To avoid her?"

Nadiya had been surprised when I came to Galina's mansion with Nathan, after him convincing me that I had to see my old mentor again. Nadiya and I did not know each other personally, but she knew me by the name. Years ago, Nadiya was awakened by a Strigoi who wanted her for himself. Her extraordinarily cunning mind was able to unravel her maker's weaknesses and destroyed him as soon as she was capable. Galina usually preferred Strigoi who were dhampirs first—but Nadiya was a prized possession because of her strategist mind. And Nadiya was satisfied to work for her… until she met me.

"Yes." I answered her.

"Save you…." she mused, her tone as if half-crazed. "_Salvation_. An interesting but worthless concept. Does she know how many lives you took since you were awakened? How many you've tortured? How many bodies have you drained dry?"

"No." If anything, I tried to shield Rose from that knowledge. Was that a mistake?

"I killed my little sister for my first victim. Next my grandfather." She recalled, her red-rimmed eyes glinting dully. "His blood did not taste that good, but I didn't stop until there was not a drop left. My parents have hired mercenary guardians to finish me off. They want to _save_ me." She laughed mirthlessly. "But there never will be salvation for me even if a silver stake plunge my heart or I become ashes. There is no salvation in this life. The same goes for you."

I kept quiet, but she knew her words have struck inside me, and that was what she was aiming for. She stood up, apparently satisfied.

"I have given you my allegiance because I know you are destined for great things. You are powerful and ruthless, and you can lead Strigoi in a way that no one has ever done before." She stabbed a finger against my chest. "But I tell you, this girl will be your downfall."

Our eyes met for a long while. And then with a dark look, she exited the room, leaving me alone.

**

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A/N**

**I didn't mean to upset anyone with my leaving… don't worry, I WILL FINISH BLOOD AWAKENING NO MATTER WHAT. And here I thought nobody cared. :p /endofemoshizz**

**Leave me a review! (if you do care. LOL) - Anya**


	9. Eight

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, our place got ransacked by a storm so internet connection was down for a while. Again, thank you for the alerts, faves and reviews. New readers, hello! We're almost at the end.**

**Thanks for my lovely beta, ohayou, whom I miss dearly :)**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**EIGHT**

I wasn't supposed to leave his side for the day.

My day off was still a few weeks away, and I could wait it out. Only I was particularly restless when I learned about Karolina's pregnancy. I wanted to be there, just to see how she was. And the rest of my family too. Was Sonya alright? Was Viktoria seeing a boy already? How was mother and grandmother holding up without a man in the house? It was weakness, I was sure of that fact, until Ivan noticed and called me on it.

"Some girl break your heart, Dimitri?" he grinned at me, his blue eyes alight with mischief but with concern too.

"Lord Zeklos." I replied dryly. "You know I don't have any girlfriends."

"I told you not to call me that when it's just us. And _that's_ why." He narrowed his eyes on me. "That's why you don't have any girlfriends. It won't kill you to lighten up a bit, old friend. You were much more fun when we were still in school, I must say."

"You know why." I said, not wanting to give in to his dramatics.

"If I had known you would turn out like this, I shouldn't have picked you as my Guardian." he sighed loudly. "It might have been more fun to annoy Alexei—at least he would have fought with me."

"Maybe you should have." I replied evenly.

He shook his head, grinning again. "You know I only take in the best. He finished number two, after all."

I groaned. "Don't let him catch you saying that."

"It's the truth." He shrugged, stepping beside me. We watched the snowfall from the window of his study. Outside, his young nephew Jesse and his other cousins played in the garden, taking advantage of the snow.

"You miss Baia, don't you." It didn't sound like a question.

I carefully looked at the glass panes. "It doesn't matter what I feel."

"Maybe not, but it matters to me, as a friend." Ivan said. "Henrik told me you received a letter from your hometown a few days ago."

"Henrik should learn to mind his own business." I muttered.

"Don't be annoyed, I asked him." He chided. "And it's not that I don't know that mood of yours. We were _friends_ once in school, if you still remember."

I glanced at him, a bit abashed. I decided to tell him the truth. "I just learned Karolina got pregnant. I was only curious about her condition."

"Ah, that's great news!" he exclaimed. "Well, that's settled then. You should take a couple of days off and see them. I can arrange the tickets right away."

"You know there is no way in hell I can do that." I argued. "Your trip to the United States is coming up, and your business trip to Belgrade is in two days."

He rolled his eyes. "The US trip is still in two weeks, and as for Belgrade, that one's only a quick visit. The route has already been tested safe, and Henrik would be with me. Keep your hair on."

I should have said no. I should have told him that it was my duty not to leave him. But images of the laughing faces of my family called to me, and I was rendered powerless by my emotions to argue against Ivan.

"If you're so sure." I said slowly. "I have to clear this out with the others first."

"Then do what you must, Dimitri, and go to your family. It doesn't do good to the heart to be apart from them for too long." He clapped his hand against my back and I turned to leave.

Before my hand twisted the doorknob, I called to him awkwardly. "Thanks… Ivan."

He did not turn around to face me. He raised his hand as a gesture of acknowledgment.

Of course, I saw him again before I left for Baia, but that was the clearest thought I had of him: Ivan looking out the dark window with the snow falling against the glass.

En route to Baia, I learned that Ivan's party was ambushed in Belgrade. No one survived. Henrik was decapitated, and Ivan's own parents couldn't even recognize their son's corpse.

No one blamed me for his death—the Zeklos family even wanted me to stay in their estate to guard the other family members. But I couldn't face them. If only I did no give in to my emotions—my weakness for what I felt for my family, I might have protected him as he faced those Strigoi. If I was there, he might have not died.

Emotions. Ties. Sentimentality. They fuck everything up.

Would I make the same mistake again for Rose?

I replayed the events in that cave again. Those few last moments of my old life. I did not dream, but whenever I was alone, my mind wandered to that one moment. I thought we were safe, that we have taken the worst of the Strigoi attack. It was a good call for Alberta to finally retreat—the sun was setting too low for comfort. When I saw Rose was inside, I remembered feeling angry and proud at the same time. Of course, she wouldn't agree to be just left behind. And how powerful she had been… seeing her fight.

In those last moments, I thought it was over. Rose and I were going to be together… no one could ever make us hide our feelings for each other anymore. Just one step further…

I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling.

Such a foolish, childish sentiment. And I needed to be awakened just for me to realize this. No one has the power to keep us apart. Not Galina, not Abe Mazur.

Not even Rose.

There was no salvation, Nadiya said.

How true. And Rose was going to know of this truth soon enough.

Because I was done waiting.

Rose was in the bathroom when I entered the sitting area of the room. My eyes caught a vase lying on its side, the greenish water leaking from a crack. Was Rose clumsy enough to knock this over? I set it upright again at the same time that Rose came out from the hall.

She smiled at me enthusiastically. Her smile never failed to please me, no matter what mood I was in.

"You're back." She sang, throwing her arms around my neck.

_Roza_. "Yes." I breathed in her scent, briefly caressing her hair before I pulled away from the embrace. I studied her at arms length. "Have you made your decision?"

Her face fell slightly, but she couldn't be surprised my patience is wearing thin.

"I have more questions." She said, climbing on the bed again, waiting for me.

I gave her this small concession. I followed her to the bed and sat on the edge, looking at her. She was still the same, but… something was off. I couldn't put my finger on it.

She pursed her lip. "How long would it take? When you awaken me? Is it instantaneous?"

"It depends. With you, it shouldn't take that long. You would drink from me after I drink your blood… with your body frame it won't be a long process."

She nodded slowly, with not even a shudder. But her heart was beating fast. Unnaturally fast. "And then what happens?"

"Your body expels all the unneeded fluids." I said. "Admittedly, it's not a pleasurable process, but you'd get over that quickly. Only the Moroi and humans have difficulty with that part."

"Would I have to feed immediately after?" she asked quickly, as if she did not hear my answer. It was like she wanted something to get over and done with. I couldn't… fathom it. Strange.

The thoughts made me pause before answering. "Yes, that would be ideal. I would make sure your first meal would be a Moroi. A royal, if I could manage it."

She gave a little nervous laugh, stress on her pitch. "Would it really make a difference? I suppose it might be strange to drink from a dhampir, maybe I wouldn't be able to handle it. Or would I? I mean clearly if I became awakened they'd all be the same anyway—"

Ah. I finally see it.

I cut her babbling. "Rose. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were stalling for time."

"Of course I am!" she said indignantly. "This is a big deal. I came here to kill you, and now you're asking me to join you. You think this is easy for me to do?"

"Do you think it's been easy for me to wait this long?" I countered. She flinched. "The only ones who get choiced are Moroi who willingly kill, like the Ozeras. No one else gets a choice. I didn't get a choice."

The unnatural fastidiousness in her eyes disappeared. "And… don't you regret that?"

I've thought about this more than a thousand times and the truth was still the same.

"No." I said firmly. "Now that I'm who I was meant to be. The only thing hurt is my pride—that Nathan forced me and that he acts as though I'm indebted to him." I gritted my teeth on that part, giving her a hard stare. "Which is why I'm being kind enough to give you the choice now. for the sake of your pride."

She looked away, a foreign expression crossing her eyes—like she was about to cry. I didn't understand it. Rose was being very, very strange tonight. She was so tense, so strung, like she was about to break. But not in the way I wanted.

In noticed a bead of perspiration trickle from her temple. "You're sweating. Why?"

"Because I'm scared." She said in a small voice, reaching out to touch my face. I will never get used to her touch. She was the only one who could do this to me. Did she even know this?

"I… I think I'm ready." Rose swallowed noisily. "But it's… I don't know. It's such a big thing."

_She was ready_.

I could have sighed a breath of relief—and not a moment too soon. The moment Rose was awakened, Galina will back off, and Abe Mazur will no longer have the reason to come over us. I might even set his own daughter on him, for meddling.

I brushed her cheekbones, her eyes, her wonderful mouth that would all be completely mine, finally.

"It will be the best decision of your life, Roza."

"Tell me again. One more time." She demanded, suddenly fierce. "Why do you want to awaken me so badly?"

Roza… don't you still understand? "Because I want you. I've always wanted you." Like I have wanted nothing else. Only her.

Rose smiled. There was a strange hardness in her eyes, but before I knew it her mouth was hard on mine, kissing my coherent thoughts away. Her heartbeat was erratic, her breathing speeding up. She had never desired me this much before. And so did I. This was the last concession. After this kiss, I would bite her. And there was no turning back.

Without warning, something stabbed into my chest, making me stumble back.

I felt it all the way through my heart. Pain… I was surprised to feel the excruciating pain, but more surprised to see whose hands had buried the stake deep into me.

Deadly certainty was all I could see in Rose's face. There was no remorse there, not even indecision.

And then everything went black.

* * *

My suitcase was already packed in my bed. In truth, the only things in the bag were the books. Mother did not allow me to carry the old ones—and it was impractical anyway. I was clearing up my study table for Viktoria to use, when Mother entered the room. I smiled at her and she smiled back, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Do you really need to go to the United States?" she asked softly.

I looked at her, surprised. Mother never questioned me that way before. She knew what was required of being a guardian—she was proud that I was one of the best. But ever since Ivan died, she began to be concerned about me. I both hated and loved the fact.

"Yes. They need guardians there. They think they've found where the last Dragomir princess is located." I explained briskly.

"I'm sure you'll do well, Dimka." She said, looking at the room with a wistful note. "Viktoria is thrilled to be getting this room."

"I'm sure." I smiled. She didn't. I crossed over to kneel at her feet, taking her hands in mine. "What's wrong, mama?"

She smiled softly at the endearment. "I guess I'm not used to having any of my children so far away." She took a deep breath, as if to steel herself. "You'll write of course? Where your next assignment will be, and the moment you find yourself a woman—"

"Mama." I sighed. "How many times will I tell you and babushka? I'm not there to find a girlfriend."

She laughed out loud, as clear as crystal and as comforting as a warm, spring day. No one had her kind of laugh. I hated seeing her sad—hitting my father for hurting her was the least of what I wanted to do. But Mother's shock at my bloodied knuckles told me that I needed to learn control. What if I hurt the people I loved next? I only wanted the best for them, to keep them close to me…

"You never know." Mother said mysteriously. And then she cupped my face with her weathered hands. I knew this might be the last time in a long while to feel her like this. "You're too lonely, Dimka. You have to find someone to share your soul with, before it's too late."

Her eyes pierced my soul. I thought she was the only one who could see through and penetrate my defenses for the world.

Little did I know that I would find my weakness in that suburban American street, a few months later.

It was never the same after that.

* * *

My eyes opened.

The first thing I knew was that there was an irritating sensation on my chest. My fingers hastily pulled something out—it was a piece of a splintered wood… a make-shift stake.

Rose.

She had just staked me.

I got up, and saw that she had gotten me squarely on my heart. If it were a real silver stake, I would now be dead. This told me plainly she _wanted_ me dead. Inexplicably, my bites have ceased to work on her body—

But of course. These past few days, she had been evading my bites. She seduced me with her kisses and touches, but never allowed me to take blood from her. Rose had been waiting for this window of opportunity to happen—one moment of my weakness. And she got it.

A quick smell around told me she wasn't here anymore in this room, but there was someone else… I darted to the bathroom and saw Inna sprawled on the bathtub. I felt a flare of irritation—how could I have missed this? But Rose had intentionally distracted me, as she knew she could. Her last kiss was a goodbye.

No. I will never let that happen. Not on her terms.

I left Inna inside the bathroom—I will deal with her incompetence later—and proceeded to go after Rose. She was able to tackle Inna, but I know her body is still weak. Perhaps pure adrenaline was the only thing working inside her right now. When I find her…

I yanked open the steel door and came face-to-face with Marlen beating at the locked steel door. He stared at me almost stupidly. I was in no mood to talk. I have to hunt her down—fast.

"Your let your bloodwhore escape." He snarled. "Galina will never forgive this of you."

I moved one step closer to him. My hands were itching to annihilate something to release my pent-up frustration of the carelessness I made. I should never have underestimated her

"Get out of my way." I growled.

Marlen shifted—but I sensed he wasn't going to shut up.

"Galina should never have trusted you with that dhampir,"

I punched in the lock sequence.

"If she finds your whore she would rip her head off and hang it on her library."

The light turned green.

"And you won't be in favor with her anymore. In fact, I think your head would be beside hers on the wall—"

I turned to face Marlen. Instantly I saw terror in his face. I let him talk because I was too engrossed with the repercussions of Rose set loose in this estate. But now, my patience is gone. And so is my control. There is nothing left of it.

My palm grabbed his face, my fingers grasping his skull. He tried to get it off, but my wrist didn't even budge.

"You've irritated me enough, Marlen."

He sputtered. "You can't kill me, Galina said—"

My grip held tighter on his head. I looked straight to his pathetic eyes.

"The only reason I'm letting you live is that Rose is still out there. The moment I recapture her, you make sure I won't be able to find you."

I slammed his head on the steel wall. Marlen staggered and slumped on the floor.

Pathetic. If he was a dhampir before he was awakened, then that wouldn't have been too much damage. It only strengthens the fact that Moroi are weak, and they should be serving below us.

I stepped out of the room, the anger was coursing in my body like venom. If another Strigoi finds Rose before I do, then all of this would be for nothing. She will be drained before I could salvage anything from her body.

A scream of pure agony came from the direction of the library. Then a large crash on the wall.

I cannot be mistaken whose scream it was.

I sped towards the room, just in time to see Galina pinning Rose to the wall, her fangs hovering dangerously to her neck. It was clear that Rose was going to die right here, right now, in front of my eyes.

_She deserves it, for defying you_.

_No, Rose cannot die._

It was almost as quick as instinct, this impulse to protect Rose. If I had a trace of a soul left, then perhaps this was the only indication of it.

"Rose!" I snarled from the doorway, making both of them look at me in alarm.

But Galina recovered faster than Rose, and she immediately knew whose side I was going to be. Her feral scream as she lunged towards me was made of pure fury—she did not anticipate my betrayal.

The weak link in her carefully built army was her right-hand. I met her halfway, dodging a swipe of her hands and aiming a kick on her stomach. She barely faltered. Galina went at me again, and again, but I knew all her moves by then. And the fact she had been my instructor evened up things.

She might be older than me, but I always knew how to play my strengths.

Another blow to the side of her face, this time enough for her to slam on the opposite wall. But I saw her grasp at an ornamental dagger framed on the wall and in no time at all, sped towards me again. Galina was known for her incredible speed that was seldom matched—I felt a cut on my chest as she struck me. I didn't care for it, as it would heal soon after… what I needed was access to her neck to decapitate her, or her chest, which was harder to penetrate.

At the corner of my eye I saw Rose handling a chair and aiming it for the window. Shit.

I turned to Galina with a renewed anger—because of this bitch I was risking Rose's escape from me. But I could hardly blame Rose… self-preservation should come first. Rose must be alive first and foremost before anything else. It was up to me to dispatch Galina the quickest way possible… the fight was getting deadlier by the minute.

We lunged for each other again, making us both skid to the floor, each one of us grappling for an aim on our chests. She had an upper-hand on this; if she managed to plunge the dagger on my chest I would be incapacitated long enough for her to decapitate me.

Sounds of glass breaking reached us; there was now a hole in the window for Rose to get out.

I dodged a blow to the head and counter-punched her squarely on the chest, making her loosen her grip on the dagger. I swatted it away, feeling the bones of her fingers break in the process. She tried to out maneuver me but I managed to hold her, torso away from me, my hands gripping her arms tight as vises.

"You risk everything for that bloodwhore?" she spat on me, her chest heaving with the exertion of our fight.

I gave her one deprecating smile that told her plainly that I had no more use for her.

"Rose!" I shouted her name as loud as I can to get her attention.

I saw her freeze midway on her flight to the window, the silver stake gripped tightly in her hand. For a moment she was startled, her eyes darting from me and to Galina… and then she understood what I wanted her to do.

A barrage of emotions flickered in her face. It was a struggle… she wanted badly to get out, but somehow there was something pulling her to this. To me.

Which would win?

Galina had now realized what I was aiming for and fought harder against my grip. I knew I couldn't hold her down forever.

_Rose make up your mind, damn it!_

Her jaw tightened with a resolution… she strode forward, her silver stake poised and ready.

Something slammed hard on me; I wheeled around. It was Nathan and Marlen, coming as back-up to Galina. This was getting messier than I wanted—

Galina screamed. I barely had time to see that Rose had already plunged the stake on her chest… Rose grimaced as she shoved it farther. I felt Galina convulse with the pain of the silver. I had to let her body go to deflect an incoming blow from Nathan.

Marlen managed a kick on my ribs; I staggered back, hissing.

In the periphery of my vision I saw another Strigoi enter the library: Nadiya.

This battle is now mine.

Nathan pounced at me, and our fists and kicks collided. I was able to throw him off me, just enough to see Rose climbing the window and looking down—no doubt making the decision on how to jump from this floor.

Not that this had ever stopped her before. She stepped to the ledge, but she twisted her head and our eyes locked.

A resolution formed in her face. She was saving herself now. And she knew that I had no chance against three Strigoi.

We'll see Rose.

She jumped off the ledge and out of my sight.

There was time for Rose later. Must focus on annihilating them first.

I backed a few steps, calculating my next move. I saw the metal poker from the steel grate holding it. Nathan leered at me, his brain ultimately telling me that he had me cornered.

He briefly glanced at Galina's corpse and to me again. "It was a mistake to awaken you, Belikov."

Not exactly.

Suddenly a loud scream came from behind Nathan. I glanced at Nadiya pulling a sword from Marlen's chest and then hacked his neck to cut off the screaming. Visible shock crossed Nathan's face—he wasn't expecting Nadiya to side with me.

Of course I wasn't as distracted as Nathan.

As he faced me again, I lunged right at him and stabbed his neck with the metal poker. His body struggled wildly, trying to get the poker off his throat. Not that he had a chance with me holding it firmly.

My other hand drove through his chest in one swift motion. I felt his heart beat its last moments. Nathan's eyes were wide, in shock. But still looked stupid.

"No." I said. "It was a mistake for you."

With one flick of my hand, I crushed his heart, feeling it turn to useless mush on my palm.

I pulled my hand out and let him crumple to the floor.

Nadiya swung her sword—blood specks flew from it and spattered on the furniture. Galena would have been annoyed. I looked at the window that Rose shattered.

"I thought you were going to get rid of her after a few years," Nadiya mused, tilting her head as she toed Galina's broken body.

"Change of plans."

"You took her down? Even I am impressed, Belikov."

"I had help." Rose couldn't be too far away—the maze will be a hindrance, and her body will slow her down.

"Help?" understanding dawned on her features. Her face hardened. "That dhampir girl again. She's gone."

I dropped the poker on the floor. "She has nowhere to go."

It would be easy to get her back… but it will almost certainly result to a fight.

And at this point, I did not know whether I have the patience to keep convincing her. I might kill her in the process. Rose would not submit to me without fighting. And tonight she had proven that she was still deadly.

All those times, I had not succeeded in making her waver, even for one moment.

So then. Awaken or destroy her. Both were the only true options left.

"Gather the others in this room. I will be back within an hour." I said.

Nadiya looked as if she had something to say, but decided against it. We were awakened almost at the same time, and if strength were the gauge, I could break her neck at this second. She seems to realize this as well, and nodded stiffly.

As for Rose… I walked to the window and looked down. The bush below had flattened considerably. It was a long drop… Rose could even be injured.

A smile spread on my lips. I will enjoy this little hunt.

I leapt out the window, landing on the ground with a soft thud. I stretched my neck—I sustained some damage, but none that I could handle. Time to get to business at hand.

The bushes were broken. I bent low to smell her scent. No blood. I smiled—Rose defies the odds as well as the rules.

There was no way out of this estate but from the maze that surrounds it. Galina was after the aesthetic value of it, as well as the thrill—she often set her victims loose in the maze and let the other Strigoi hunt them down. I had thought it was a petty endeavor, although the screams for help had been amusing to hear.

I stood at one of the several entrances of the maze. Recently disturbed leaves and twigs made things more obvious. This was going to be too easy—if only Rose would surrender herself to me. On any other circumstances, I can overpower her, but my strength was not at its peak right now. It will be harder to restrain her enough to bite her, and easier than to just… kill her.

Silently, I stepped into the maze and inhaled the air. I could sense the barest hint of her scent, but it was too faint for me to track. The wind was blowing in the opposite direction, and the flowers were all night blooming.

"Roza." I called out clearly to the silent night. Her dhampir senses would hear my voice.

Make her fear increase. Make her sweat more. Make her heartbeat louder until I could pick it up.

"Roza, I know you're out there. I can smell you."

Silence except for the hum of insects. I walked on a steady pace, my eyes looking for signs of her presence. Nothing, only the sweet trace of her scent in the air, taunting me.

"I won't kill you, not if you give yourself up. I owe you. You took Galina for me, and now I'm in charge. Replacing her happened a little ahead of schedule, but that's not a problem." I sidestepped into a small opening in the wall of a hedge, making me walk deeper into the maze.

I will reach the heart of it in no time.

I couldn't keep the amusement out of my voice. "Of course, there aren't many people to control now that Nathan and the others are dead. But that can be fixed." Easily. Galina's plans were already in motion… I only have to follow through and lead it.

"I'm not upset about you attacking me either. I would have done it in your place. It's just one more reason why we should be together."

Rose was my equal. She deserved no one but me, and I want no one else but her on my side.

But if I can't have her… then no one else can.

"You're still dangerous though. If I find you, I'm probably going to have to kill you." I let the words hang in the air, listening intently to a sudden gasp of air, or a faulty step. Still nothing. Rose was being uncharacteristically careful. My anger rose again.

"I don't want to, but I'm starting to think there's no way we can both live in this world. Come to me by choice, and I'll awaken you. We'll control Galina's empire together."

My eyes caught something in the twisted stems of one wall: a few strands of long hair. My fingers pulled it out from the leaves. We were on the same path, if not, the same direction. One change of the wind's direction and this would be all over.

I resumed my talking. Panic and confusion would deliver her to me.

"Even if you get out, where would you go?" My fingers caressed the long strands, my eyes looking for more signs of her tracks. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

There were only three exits on this side of the maze. All of them lead to a field on the outskirts of the mansion. It was the only place she can go. Once she's outside on the field she would run. But she cannot outrun me—

The wind finally blew the opposite direction. I inhaled the air again. To my right, the farthest of the three exits. She managed to get out of the maze. My lips curled into a smile. My star student, a survivor to the end.

I sped towards the twists and turns of the maze until I reached it. A scrap of cloth from the dress she was wearing lay tangled on the branches. I reached for it.

My eyes scanned the horizon. There was a line of trees in the far distance and beyond that, Novosibirsk. The city was clearly seen from here—no doubt that is where Rose would head, to ask for help.

But no one can help her now.

"Rose!" I called out again. "I swear it's not too late."

Except for salvation.

I ran fast to that cluster of trees—it was the logical thing for her to do. My eyes were not able to see her, but it was impossible for her to have gained so much distance from me. Rose's scent constantly permeated the air from the moment I exited the maze.

Which only meant one thing—she was around here somewhere. Biding her time to attack me.

As I approached the trees and fallen trunks, I noticed again the obviously disturbed leaves and twigs, freshly broken.

Smart move for Rose to try and ambush me, but nearly not smart enough.

I deliberately made my steps noisy for her to hear my approach. Her pulse would race more until I would smell the adrenaline of fear coming off her.

It was quiet, quieter than the maze. Her scent was stronger now. If I could focus hard enough… is it her faint breaths that I hear?

"Roza… I know you are here." I flexed my fingers, yearning for her skin again. "You have no chance of running, no chance of hiding."

Something moved in the bushes to my right. I gazed on it, yet something was amiss here. She must not be ten feet away from me at this moment where I'm standing. If she was crouched low on the ground I would have been able to—

_Not hiding on eye-level_. I swiftly looked up.

Her body collided into mine; the sudden lunge threw me backwards to the ground. She straddled me, and my eyes saw she was holding her silver stake. I growled and tried to grab her wrists, but she was struggling with _equal_ force to pin me underneath her.

In her mind, all she was thinking of was to drive that stake on my chest. Such determination… She would be unstoppable if she were to be awakened—

A slice of pain shot on my face—she managed to rake the tip of her stake on my cheek. I hissed at her… it was not enough to harm me, but I felt the gash.

"You. Are. Amazing." My voice could not contain my pride for her. A vague wisp of a memory hit me—when we fought like this for the first time in St. Vladimir's. It was the exact same position as that day, only she managed to out maneuver me and drive the practice stake to my chest.

It was never going to happen that way.

I lured her into an opening for my chest; she quickly changed the position of her hands to drive the stake in me, but it was exactly what I wanted. I hit her hand out of the way, making her lose her footing. I was finally able to shove her away from on top of me—Rose skidded to the ground several feet away. That must have hurt—I counted on it—but she managed to stand up almost immediately and sprinted away as soon as I started to come for her.

Run as fast as you can Rose. We both know how this is going to end.

I could have overtaken her if I was in my full strength, but my body was weaker than I realized. The silver stake's magic damaged me more than the gash on my face. I saw Rose's form running as fast as she could—her hair had now let loose. Easier to grab.

And then she screamed.

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**A/N: _babushka_ is a Russian endearment for grandmother, but I'm not Russian so feel free to correct me if I was wrong (anyway, you got that he was talking about Yeva right?) :D I quite enjoyed writing Dimitri with his family, as well as the bit about Ivan... I wish I could write more of it someday :)**

**I'll be updating much more frequently now that we're almost at the end. Thanks for sticking with me up to now. Review for me? :)**


	10. Nine

**A/N: Last chapter. Thanks for the reviews for the last one... I was blown away. Seriously. And now I kinda feel the pressure for this scene. Haha :p**

**Um, before you proceed, I'd just like to remind you that I NEVER EVER dreamed of matching Richelle Mead's intensity for this part. There is absolutely NO WAY I am going to equal that, ever. This is just a humble interpretation. :)**

**Still... yeah. I was also emotional when I wrote this part. :p**

**Thanks as always to my beta, Zmeyette.**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**NINE**

Her scream was wild, frantic. What could have happened to her? The thick line of trees stopped a few meters away… and then there was nothingness. I came across the edge of the riverbank, a ravine that sloped to the swelling current of Ob.

So where was Rose?

My eyes scanned the bottom of the ridge. I smiled. There she was, getting to her feet as she looked wildly around her, calculating her chances of getting out. She took a small step for the river, but quickly decided against it. I looked to my left… there was a bridge not far from us.

Rose would go for that, I was sure. But it would be too high of a climb with her twisted ankle and weakening body. I could wait for her to run and see what she would do next, but I was too hungry for her.

And besides, it seems she was waiting for my next move too, the way she glanced at my direction. She would use the time I would climb down the ridge so she can run. Good thinking.

_Let's test your theory, shall we?_

I skidded towards the slope, and sure enough Rose immediately launched into a sprint for the bridge.

Run, run, run.

Her footsteps made splashing noises in the water—she didn't care anymore if I heard her. She knew I was right behind her. At this distance I could smell her anxiety, her fear coming off her like steam. The delicious sound of her heartbeat was music to my ears… it was beating so quickly for me.

She prepared to climb the bank again—but too late.

I reached out swiftly and grabbed a fistful of her jacket. She lost her balance and fell backwards against me. She flailed her arms around, wildly trying to hit me, hurt me, stab me in any way possible. But I managed to get a good hold of her upper arms, effectively restraining her.

"Stop it!" I shouted the truth to her so she would believe it. "Don't you get it? You can't win!"

"THEN KILL ME!" she screamed back, her voice ringing in my ears and into the nothingness around us. "You said you would if I don't surrender myself." She spat the words out. "Well just get it over with."

Her whole body was trembling, but not anymore with fear. It was with anger and derision. This was the Rose I desired, in my old life and until now. I knew I taught her how to control herself—but Victor Dashkov had it right in that prison—I never really wanted her to learn control. Especially when around me.

I smiled, reaching for her neck. "It'd take a lot for me to kill you, Rose. This isn't enough."

She continued to twist and turn her body to free herself from my grip, but we both knew better. I widened my mouth to let out my fangs to end her needless suffering.

"No!" she cried out.

Suddenly, a burst of force came between us, breaking the hold I have on her. It was disorienting… I was seeing colors and bright, oddly formed shapes swirling around me. I couldn't figure out what was happening. Did Rose do this?

And then I felt it, the pain of something ripping my skull apart and crushing it to pieces. Never have I experienced this kind of pain before—there was no source on which to pinpoint where it was coming from. The pain was everywhere.

Gaunt hands and faces reached for me, pulling at my skin, although I knew they weren't physically touching me, every pass the spirits made at me made me double in pain. I waved my arms to fend them off, but nothing happened. They still came back for me. For more.

_Dimitri_. A voice called to me. I forced my eyes to open, and by doing so, white-hot pain shot straight to my forehead and deep in my mind.

It was Alexei. His clothes were the same ones he was wearing when we fought a couple of days ago. He shimmered in the darkness, but behind him were hundreds more of the spirits—I realize it now.

_Dimitri_. I wheeled around and saw it was the girl I killed in the street in Novosibirsk for her necklace. She didn't even know my name—but now she did.

And then I knew he would appear.

Ivan Zeklos materialized directly in front of me, hazy but defined at the same time. His face was blank, expressionless, but his mouth was wide, as if perpetually screaming.

I realized all of them were the same—mouths wide open. And they were all chanting my name alongside curses and shrieks.

_You aren't alive…_

_You are unnatural…_

You don't belong in this world…

_Leave the child be…_

_Monster…_

Rose.

My mind latched on to her name. I realized that she was slowly climbing the bridge and away from me.

No.

I managed to take a step forward. And again.

They all crowded against me, and I couldn't fight them off. They were in my mind, and they whispered to me things they found in its dark recesses. Every little fear, desire, weakness was hurled back at me, ten times more potent.

That afternoon when I saw my father beating up mother.

Seeing Ivan Zeklos' broken body in his funeral.

Adrian Ivashkov talking with Rose right after with had that petty argument over Tasha.

Rose's scream of pure agony on the plane.

The way she sobbed in my arms inside the cabin, where I had never felt so helpless or so scared.

Never again will I be weak.

Someone shouted in the distance. Rose's voice.

Then… one by one, Alexei, the girl, and Ivan disappeared.

I looked up. Rose managed to climb all the way to the bridge. But she could barely stand—the spirits must have affected her the same way—and seeing her weak gave me strength.

I was on the bridge before she could even prepare to run. Rose backed away, not daring to turn her eyes off me.

"Another shadow-kissed effect?" I asked, triumph in my voice.

"Yeah. Turns out ghosts don't much like Strigoi." She answered steadily.

I remembered her scream. "You didn't seem to like them much either."

She backed away again as I took another small step towards her. Just to taunt. I would be all over her neck in half a second. No need to rush what she made me work so hard for.

"So, did I go far enough for you to not want to turn me?" she said hopefully. I almost laughed.

"No." I took another half-step. "Your shadow-kissed abilities have their uses… too bad they'll go away when you're awakened."

She looked at me incredulously, before her face hardened again.

"You're not going to awaken me."

So stubborn to the end. "Rose, there's no way you can—"

"No." she repeated. Before I could react anything more, she moved to the railing of the bridge and lifted one of her legs over.

"What are you doing?" I demanded. But I understood—I didn't dare move. Suicide was not what I was expecting from Rose. She was always the survivor, the one to live, to stand out, to fight without fear…

Yet true enough, there was no fear in her clear eyes. She wanted to die.

She wanted to die rather than join me.

"I told you. I'll die before I become Strigoi." Her eyes were deep with resolve. She was deadly serious. "I won't be like you or the others. I don't want that. You didn't want that, once upon a time."

Tears ran down her cheeks. But the hurt in her voice was the part that pierced me the most. What have I done? I only wanted her to be with me, to live with me forever. Was that so hard for us to do? To be together?

"Rose… don't." Was I pleading?

I was. Anything but her death.

"Please." I didn't care if I begged. This was nothing like the submission I felt for Galina that I hated. I would plead for her life, if that was what it would take. "We need to be together."

"Why?" she said so softly, it was like a whisper of the breeze.

"Because I want you." I responded automatically. Because I needed her. I have to be with her. If she would disappear from this earth then I would be reduced to nothing but a shell of what I was before I met her. I wanted her in my old life, in this life, or if there was anything more after this.

No one else would do, except for Roza.

She smiled, a beautiful smile… and I thought I had her.

But if there was anything I learned by now, Rose was anything but predictable.

"Wrong answer."

She disappeared over the ledge. I sprinted to the railing and reached out my arm before she was gone completely. I barely had her by the arm as my legs anchored my weight along the wooden planks.

"Stop fighting me!" I bellowed, for what was the thousandth time this night. I tried to drag her back.

She writhed violently from my hold. "LET GO OF ME!"

My grip was firm. I will never let her go, even if I had wanted to.

I wish I could tell those words… but she wouldn't believe me. I finally knew that now. All my efforts to convince her to trust me were futile from the start. All because I was now a creature she was taught since the beginning to hate and to destroy. In her eyes, I was nothing more than that.

At that precise moment, I saw the silver stake she was holding in her other free arm.

She captured my eyes, like the way she had captured my being the first time I realized she was never going to be merely a student for me.

"I will always love you."

With astounding force, she drove the silver stake through my skin, through my ribs, through me.

I tried to dodge—the stake grazed my heart. But my pain was caused by her words.

Was that she was looking for? Those words? I quickly thought back, as the silver pierced and stung my skin, as Rose exerted more effort to ram it deeper in my chest. Haven't I told her in this past few days that she was with me that I loved her?

I thought it was plain in my every action, that truth that even I could not comprehend I felt in this life. Salvation did not exist. Pity did not exist. Friendship, trust, empathy… no they do not exist anymore. But love. Love I still understood. It was the reason for taking her on that street in Novosibirsk, instead of just letting her go.

That I loved her. Of course I did.

I stopped struggling, and looked at her beautiful face for one more time.

My best student. My true friend. My only lover.

I gave Rose a shadow of a grimace. "That was what I was supposed to say."

Her eyes widened with shock. She heard me. I was satisfied.

The silver started to numb my hold on the railing. And I let go into the darkness, where I let it finally consume me whole.

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**A/N: Indeed, the hottest love has the coldest end.**

**There is still an epilogue, to be updated in a while. :) Let's say our goodbyes there.**


	11. Epilogue

**A/N: If by any chance, you are doubting whether Strigoi has the capacity to love, Richelle Mead said herself in a chat interview that yes they can (like Christian's parents), just in a different, really twisted way. Like destroy-your-beloved-if-you-can't-have-her kind of way.**

**And quoting Slughorn: Never. ever underestimate the power of obsessive love. :)**

**Thanks to my beta extraordinaire, Zmeyette. I hope we can still work together someday :)**

_**Disclaimer: Vampire Academy and its characters belong to Richelle Mead. No copyright infringement is intended with the writing of this story.**_

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**Epilogue**

_I will always love you._

Standing by the window, where the glass was shattered to form a hole… I stood there, my gaze on the maze gardens. I closed my eyes, her words washing over me again and again, as I recalled her last words to me. As she plunged that stake to my heart that she did because of love—not hatred for what I've become.

My beautiful, strong Roza had almost succeeded in killing me. If I had not twisted my torso in time, she would have stabbed my heart. I was careless, because I was overcome with dread that she was going to jump off that bridge. Which she did, and I barely held on to her.

And like the warrior that she was, she took advantage of my weakness when she stabbed me without an ounce of hesitation in her eyes.

And again, it was so like Rose to forget another important lesson of mine. Never turn your back until you know your enemy is dead. She had been certainly fooled by my slackened expression after she staked me. _Innocent, naïve Rose_. I could not help a fond smile.

I stepped over the crumpled bodies of Oleg and Inna that were broken on the floor to sit on one of the plush armchairs. Their blood had already dried up on the carpet.

I had no use for them anymore—they let Rose escape. Humans were only good for food or to toy with, and none of them deserved to be awakened. How pathetic… that a weakened teenage girl could have escaped from the humans that Galina had tolerated.

Of course, I should have expected nothing less from my best student. I had counted on the fact that my bites would drug her until she succumbed to me—but looking back, those last days where she would refuse me to drink from her… she was already plotting escape then. Against all odds. And she succeeded to get away from me.

The only woman I had ever wanted. We are each other's equals… that night only strengthened my belief in this.

In the corner of my eye I saw Nadiya frown at me, guessing perhaps that I was thinking again of Rose. When Galina died, a large number of leaderless Strigoi had come to her estate—which was mine now—to come look for a new leader. I had healed fairly quickly when the silver stake dislodged from my chest as I fell in the water, and when I returned to the mansion to face the convening Strigoi, I was weakened but otherwise able to hold my ground against the others. Galina had already said that I was her right-hand—the second-in-command if she was not around. Little did she know that I would be the one to cause her permanent absence—with help from Rose.

It was in this library where Galina had tried to kill Rose and I was just in time to intervene. There was a war of emotions in Rose's eyes when she had to decide whether to jump from this window, or help me stake Galina. In the end, she still chose me.

That silver stake was now in my hands, wrapped in a thick cloth. It did not leave my grip even when I returned to the estate… until now. This was a reminder of Rose. Her strength, her will to fight me, and her resolve to free me. She had it the other way around. She was the one tied to her Guardian fate—dying in vain as she absorbs Lissa's darkness day by day. And I will be the one to free her.

The heavy doors of the library opened, and several newly recruited Strigoi came in. They were all obedient and willing to follow authority—I knew exactly how to manipulate them and make them work for me. I had observed Galina very closely.

I nodded for one of them to speak.

A young Strigoi came forward. "We have received word from our contacts that Rose Hathaway had already been arranged a very secure transport from Novosibirsk to Moscow."

That was fast. I expected a few days more. From Moscow, it would be to Amsterdam, and then… United States. Not that it was such an impossible hindrance, but I was suddenly stabbed by infuriation—someone was very eager to ship her back home.

"Who arranged it?"

The Strigoi cringed slightly at my tone. "Ibrahim Mazur."

Rose's father. So he had thwarted me yet again. We have met once, and it was not a pleasant encounter. Not to mention that his connections and underground militia was almost as menacing as an army of Strigoi. Well, almost.

My grip tightened on Galina's stake. Another obstacle between Rose and I.

"No matter." My lips curled into a smile. "There are still many things to be done, before we execute our plans."

Nadiya spoke up, irritation in her features. "Are you certain the Dragomir princess will fall into our hands once this is over?"

I didn't look at her—my eyes were only for the stake. "If we execute this right, yes. I know how _they_ think."

I know their plans, their security detail. Even if they switch, the foundations are already there—it would take a long while before the guardians can change everything. I know this because I've contributed to those myself.

She stepped in front of me, demanding attention. "Why can't you let the dhampir go? I don't believe her being an asset trumps her being a liability."

This was getting old. "I do not remember asking for your opinion, Nadiya."

"Someone has to give it to you," she snarled.

I slid my gaze slowly from the stake to her angry face. She had proven to be a ruthless assassin and a cunning strategist. Her loyalty shifted easily from Galina to me, because I proved to be the stronger one. Prey and predator.

Still, with her taxing attitude—if she were any other Strigoi, I would have sent her crashing to the opposite wall. But it was unnecessary. I held on to that thought as she continued on.

"You want the Dragomir princess dead. But your reasons for that are not entirely what they seem. This is personal." Her eyes narrowed accusingly.

"If she falls into our hands it will be a great loss to the morale of the Moroi Royalty. Vasilisa is the last living Dragomir. Finally there will be one extinct throne among the twelve families."

"She is the other-half of the shadow-kissed bond of the Hathaway girl. You want the Dragomir princess to ensure that you will meet with that dhampir again."

I was silent, my fingers tracing the cloth. Rose's hands on my skin had been so warm, overwhelming to my senses. Roza used my weakness against me then—I will use hers this time.

"Either way it is beneficial to us," I said flatly.

Nadiya approached me boldly taking a few steps forward to where I was sitting, meeting me eye-to-eye.

"That girl will choose to die before she joins you."

I met hers unflinchingly. "Then Rose will die by _my_ hands and no one else's."

Her fate must lie with what I desire. And no one can take that away from me ever again. No Moroi, dhampir or Strigoi edict shall control what I want. Of this I will be certain.

A shadow of fear passed in Nadiya's eyes, and she looked away.

"I don't understand your obsession with her." She muttered sullenly.

I grabbed her chin and forced her to face me. "Then again I don't expect you to, Nadiya." Roughly, I let her go. "You can close your pretty mouth now."

With one insulted look at me, she backed off into the corner where she belonged.

I turned the stake in my hands again. It was not possible for me to touch the surface of the stake, but it was as if I could almost feel her warm hold on it as she fought for her life. Rose was too powerful for a life of slavery underneath the Moroi. By my side she would be much more. She has to understand this the next time we meet.

With a finger I motioned for one of the Strigoi to approach me. I handed him a package with a note inside… I wish I could be there to see Rose's face when she opens it.

"Find a human to mail this package to this address."

He nodded, reaching out his hands to grab it.

"Wait." I slid the stake inside the envelope, almost reluctant to let it go. But no matter, I will be seeing her soon.

Very soon.

* * *

**A/N: Debriefing and goodbye message is at ashemoon(dot)livejournal(dot)com. There is also the book cover for Blood Awakening done by my LD girls. Come say goodbye. :)**

**Thanks everyone. It has been really quite an experience sharing this story with you all. Each review has a place in my heart, and I will treasure them for always. Hope to see you all again someday.**

***Strigoi Dimka and I wave goodbye***

**Anya :)  
**


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